Narrator: And Tobias was having his first book reading.
Tobias: And, for the ease of the reader, I have changed all the gender-related pronouns "he," "she" to the masculine "he." "The Man Inside Me. For Lindsay, my rock. I could not have done this without him."
Narrator: And Lindsay arrived to support her husband.
Tobias: "For there is a man inside me, and only when he's finally out can I walk free of pain." [applause]
James Alan Spangler: This book is gonna sell, like, a billion copies.

Michael: If this information was so damaging, why didn't you just shred it?
George Sr.: Well, Saddam owed us money.
Michael: You didn't realize that he wouldn't pay?
George Sr.: Your mom had a good feeling about him.

Michael: All I've ever done my entire life is do exactly what you told me to, all right? I've done everything for this family, Pop. Not anymore. Kitty can have my job. And you can take your own polygraph test, 'cause I'm done. I'm done with you, and I'm done with the business. [walks out]
George Sr.: Great. I'm gonna get a lethal injection because my son won't eat a potato.

Lindsay: Oh, how is he?
Lucille: Stable. But they don't know if he's due for another one. It's his own fault. What kind of diet is this? It's too much meat. I want all of you off this immediately. [to Lindsay] Except you.

Lindsay: Oh, Barry. Did you talk to a doctor?
Barry: I did. I have poison oak. Do you believe it? Where the hell did I get that?
Lucille: She was talking about George.
Barry: No, he's the same. Look, I guess we should decide who's gonna speak for the family. I would but I have Laker tickets.

Gob: I'm in charge now. I speak for this family. I mean, l-I could, if you wanted me to. I'd rather not, obviously. Don't know what I'd say. Why do I have to be the one? I don't need this. Why does this have to become my problem? No. I'm out. Forget it. Find somebody else. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of doing everything for this family.
Barry: Where is Michael?
Gob: [scoffs] Typical.

Narrator: And at that moment, he was determined to finally get as far away from his family as possible.
Michael: Hey, pal. Pack your bags.
George Michael: Where are we goin'?
Michael: Anywhere. Joshua Tree, space camp, the Baseball Hall of Fame... Everything you and I have always wanted to do but haven't been able to because of this family.
George Michael: We're just gonna go?
Michael: Yeah. And I don't know if we're even gonna come back. There's nothing keeping us here.
George Michael: Well, Dad, I like it here.
Michael: What the hell's going on with you lately? I wanted to watch Hindsight, and you weren't there. I want to pack up and desert the family, and you don't want to. Is it this new girlfriend?
George Michael: No, it- It's because of the family. I like the family. I mean, if we leave, who's gonna take care of these people?
Michael: I don't know. The state or the police. Maybe the Magicians' Alliance will pick up some slack.

Gob: Don't you worry. It'll take a lot more than a heart attack to kill that old bear. [sobs] Old bear! He likes the honey! He never got a chance to see my bee business take off.
Michael: Hey, come on, now. Dad's gonna be around another 30 years, Gob. Your business, uh, might not.
Gob: You're a good brother, Michael. Heart attack never stop old Big Bear.
Buster: I didn't even know we were calling him Big Bear.
Gob: We never had a chance to!

Lindsay: Look, I need to become self-reliant. It's not gonna last with Tobias. He's completely oblivious. He's got no idea how I'm feeling or thinking.
Michael: So there's no sex?
Lindsay: I mean, how do you not have sex with me?
Michael: It is a struggle.

George Sr.: Michael, you can save this business. You are the only one who can do it.
Gob: Yeah, besides me, right? But I kind of got my hands full with these babies.
Prison Guard #1: He's got bees! No bees!
Prison Guard #2: Get it!
Lucille: They don't allow you to have bees in here.