George Michael: Maeby, what are you doing? You know, I still don't get why you're pretending to be two people, and why is one of you sick?
Maeby: Hey, you don't get giant checks if you're healthy. Plus, who's going to get mad at the dying girl?
George Michael: Surely's dying?
Maeby: I figure I'll kill her off just before graduation. Just so everyone gets really sad before prom.
George Michael: Maeby, someone's going to get hurt. Not to mention it's kind of disrespectful for kids who actually have this.
Maeby: Not a lot of kids have B.S. these days.
George Michael: What does that stand for?
Maeby: I don't know. It's B.S.

Michael: Can we let another family bring down the Ten Commandments? This family's already done more than its share.
Gob: Oh, now you love the Ten Commandments. And yet, you're the one who so conveniently forgot "Thou shalt protect thy father and honor no one above him unless it beith me, thy sweet Lord."
Michael: I'm not sure that one made it down the mountain, Gob.

Lindsay: Yes, we did it. We're getting rid of the Ten Commandments. The granite ones in front of the courthouse. You know, all it took was the threat of a lawsuit.
Michael: You're involved with those protesters now? When did that happen?
Lindsay: Oh, who can remember.
Narrator: Lindsay's involvement began hours before when, leaving the plea hearing, she first determined the Ten Commandments didn't belong there.
[flashback:]
Lindsay: And they won't even allow me one lousy cigarette! [walks into the granite block]
Lucille: Honey, they're just heels. They can only support so much weight.
[present:]
Lindsay: I've always been very passionate about the separation of church and state.

Lindsay: Wait a minute. They don't have ramps at your school?
George Michael: Well, not up the bleachers.
Lindsay: You should threaten to sue. It's free if it's just a threat, you know.

Narrator: Outside the courthouse, Surely Funke was addressing the crowd. George Michael prepared to confront her about it.
Maeby: Not just to me, but to all handicapped kids out there who are sick and tired of sitting in the front rows at basketball games.

Michael: Hey, what happened to you?
Maeby: He was trying to help some handicapped girl up to the bleachers, and he fell.
George Michael: It's just a sprain. But at least it's legitimate.
Tobias: Ah, le clumsy adolescence. It's a phase we've all been through. Except for me. I was like a cat. I always ended up on all fours. [off everyone's confusion] Like a cat.

Lucille: Well, it certainly looks like they've got a lot on us.
George Sr.: Mm-hmm.
Lucille: Uh, you. I was raising the children.
Gob: When was the last time you raised children?
Lucille: Excuse me? I've got two in the waiting room right this moment.
Narrator: In fact, Buster and Annyong Lucille's newly adopted Korean child, were waiting.

Buster: Wow. I wonder what they're talking about in there?
Annyong: They don't tell you anything, huh?
Buster: They tell me things. It doesn't matter though, because Dad is gonna be in here a long time.
Annyong: No. We have court day today. They take plea. Daddy come home. You out.
Narrator: Annyong had hit a nerve, and Buster recalled that right before George Sr.'s arrest, he'd made a similar threat.
[flashback:]
Lucille: I said he could wear that tie. It looks better on him.
George Sr.: No, no. Let me help you with that, son.
Buster: Oh.
George Sr.: Hey, enjoy yourself tonight, because you are out of here. I'm not gonna spend my retirement watching you wipe your nose on your sleeve.
Buster: I can't breathe, Dad.
George Sr.: Neither can I.

George Sr.: I haven't seen half this stuff but they've got these kind of documents, uh, we've gotta get rid of this.
Barry: If you're thinking of stealing the evidence, that is a very big offense. l-I think I'm gonna say that I signed myself out about 10 minutes ago.
George Sr.: You're right. You can't afford to get caught. I don't need my lawyer in prison. We'll have Gob break in.
Gob: Well, gee, Dad, I've got a wife now. I don't think that I can afford to get caught either.
George Sr.: Good point. You might want to change out of that sweater.

Michael: I'll take the dog, okay? I've already missed my meeting. You go ahead.
Maggie Lizer: Just put him through the doggy door.
Michael: Okay.
Maggie Lizer: And, uh, I'll see you in court.
Michael: Yeah. My dad's not gonna put himself in prison for life.