Narrator: And soon, they realized... [wood block sounds] what kind of competition they were up against.
George Michael: Well, these are a [bleep] joke.
P-Hound: I know.
George Michael: Where are the mallet options? There's no choice of wood weight or grain type. There's no diameter hole option. I mean, what is this, BabyTock?
P-Hound: BabyTock?
George Michael: You know, the sharp metal box that you put in the crib. Is that not a well-known...

P-Hound: This is the girl you broke up with?
George Michael: What is this? I can't wear this. Yeah, well, we dated for a while, but, you know, I was a kid, and I didn't know how to kiss yet. I don't know, for whatever reason, I listened to my dad who said we shouldn't make it work.
P-Hound: Was she your first?
George Michael: Cousin? No. Why would you- Why would your mind go right to- No. No, it's just that he was right. We were kids. I wasn't yet O.S.
Narrator: Overtly sexual.
P-Hound: Overtly sexual.
George Michael: Right. As I live and breathe. Crazy.

George Michael: Hey, you must be-
Narrator: But first, he had to cover his tracks.
George Michael: What?
Narrator: This had to look like fate.
Maeby: George Michael?
George Michael: What is this? Maeby, what are you doing here? As I live and breathe.
Narrator: But for the phrase, "As I live and breathe" he nailed it.
George Michael: I'm supposed to tutor a kid from High school.
Maeby: Yeah. That's me.
George Michael: Crazy. That is just crazy.

Narrator: And after a brief reunion, George Michael had another opportunity to impress his cousin.
Michael: He's got this privacy software, keeps people from stealing your stuff. Tell her, pal.
Maeby: So it's privacy software that's also anti-piracy?
Narrator: George Michael weighed his options. Maeby had chastised him for not taking risks, and what would be a bigger risk than perpetuating a lie about software just to ignite the passions of a woman? Of course, it would be a lie, and since Maeby wouldn't know it was a lie, he wouldn't appear to be taking a risk. Perhaps the bigger risk was to tell his father he was lying. That he came up with it because he wanted his father to leave so he could enjoy what remained of his senior year. After all, he wondered, wouldn't that be the course of action taken by an overtly sexual man? A man who owns a pair of matador pants? He had not responded now for 41 seconds, according to his unfailing internal clock, and it was time to come clean.
Michael: Well, thanks. Yeah. It's just a Boolean-driven aggregation, really, of what programmers call "hacker traps."
Narrator: And he found himself suddenly and effortlessly tapping into a long-inbred instinct for lying. A Bluth taking his first steps in deceit. But the more he talked, the more he actually started to like the idea.
George Michael: So, when you have friends over, you know, you're listening to music and they want to steal your music and copy your movies or... Or just look at your photos, you know, this prevents that. It just neutralizes that so it's not even a threat anymore. It's called Fakeblock.
Michael: Great name. Right?
George Michael: Yeah, well, you know, it's super low-hanging fruit. Someone's going to do it. We're just trying to be those guys, you know?

George Michael: Well, it's really nice to be out with you as adults, you know? In Spain, they don't even eat dinner until after 11:00 p.m.
Maeby: Wow, Spain really changed you.
George Michael: Well, you grow up very quickly in Spain. Oh, my God, I know this guy. Hey. Hey, man. Hey.
David Henrie: Hey, man. Hey. What are you on?
Woman: Oh, he's nobody.
George Michael: It's Justin. That's David Henrie. He's Justin from Wizards of Waverly Place.
Maeby: Hmm.
George Michael: It's on a lot in Spain.

Narrator: And while checking his messages, he got some good news.
Michael: [on voice mail] Hey, buddy, it's Dad. I am having real trouble getting up there. This traffic is unbelievable. We got a light aircraft right in the middle of the freeway. Call me back when you get this?
Narrator: But while Michael was leaving a second message, George Michael left one for him.
Michael: Hey, hang on. This is you.
George Michael: [on the phone] Hey, it's me. You know what? I bet we're sitting in the exact same traffic, this is a mess.
Narrator: Now hoping to ensure that his father didn't make it to their meeting.
George Michael: Oh, God, they're forcing us off... but you know, we can just do this another time if that works. Maybe that's better. They're closing the lanes. This is beautiful.
Michael: Same traffic. Unreal. Unreal. Kind of looking around for you now. Unreal. Kind of looking around for you now. Maybe you're right near me. Anyhow, if you get this, maybe we will just meet somewhere else. Gonna hang up now. I'm going to video this and send it in to the news.
George Michael: Glad you're getting some footage of this, 'cause I can't really get a good angle myself. They're forcing us off here like a bunch of animals. You know, maybe we'll do this another time, 'cause this is it's sad to say, but it's like animals. You know maybe we'll do this another time. It's sad to say, but it's left me pretty shaken up. God, I just hope there are no kids on that plane. 'Cause, you know, they don't have any choice in the matter.
Michael: Well, I'll tell you what. I feel worse for the parents, okay? Probably the kids thought that they could fly the plane all by themselves. Bet you 500 bucks they find a dead kid behind the stick. You know, or maybe on the dead dad's lap whose only fault was loving that kid too much and letting him fly the plane. Next thing he knows, he's bouncing off the top of the Sports Chalet onto the express lane of the 605. I'll bet you 500 bucks.

Narrator: Now, the story of a family whose future was abruptly canceled, and the one son who had no choice but to keep himself together. It's George Michael's Arrested Development.

Narrator: Or bred with. Which was the case with George Michael. Who, as a small child, appeared in a promotional video for a developmental tool called BabyTock
[TV commercial:]
Young George Sr.: BabyTock will give your child a head start at math. And if I were a doctor, I would guarantee you that it would also boost their brain power by 110%. That's a lot of brain power. You've been using BabyTock, correct? For how long?
Tracey B.: For two months. But George Michael really enjoys listening to the sound.
Young George Sr.:And would you say it's changed the power of his brain?
Tracey B.: Well, that's impossible...
Young Lucille: ...to deny. I've always wanted a smart baby. This thing really works, George.
Narrator: In fact, it came from something that didn't.
[flashback:]
Young Lucille: So we're stuck with 5,000 of these worthless corn-ballers?
Narrator: When they were looking to recoup some of their costs after an ill-fated foray into the fry-at-home snack-food market.
Young George Sr.: Whoa, whoa. They're not worthless, you know. The timer still works. There's no numbers on it, but it's very loud, so... [timer ticking]
Young Lucille: Perfect for those who like the sound of a clock, but don't know their numbers.
Young George Sr.: That's good. We'll sell this to baby- Ow! Mother of [bleep]. We should put these in cribs.
Young Lucille.: That's not a half puny thought.

Narrator: But the party wouldn't last long.
Michael: You know what? I am done with this family. I hope you've saved some money, 'cause you're going to need every dime now. What's this? Return it or rip it up.
George Sr.: Michael.
Michael: Come on. Give it a rip. Rip it up, right down the center. [George Michael rips the check] That's it. Rip it. Couple more. Did you get it? Proud of you.
George Sr.: Happy birthday.
Gob: Happy birthday, George Michael.
Tobias: Happy birthday.
All: Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you...

Narrator: And for George Michael, senior year did get better. He was like a king returning to his castle.
George Michael: I sort of feel like a king returning to his castle.
Narrator: Only to discover that they thought he was two kings.
Doug Fleer: Welcome to your castle.
Narrator: And they had doubled the size of his castle.
George Michael: Double castle.
Dean Fleer: Can't wait to meet Michael, George.
Narrator: It would be the perfect backdrop to unveil George Michael 2.0.
George Michael: Todo mio. Todo mia? Mio.