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In God We Trust

‘In God We Trust’

Season 1, Episode 7 - Aired December 14, 2003

Michael and Lindsay try to get their father out of prison for the day so he can see Lucille on a date with their lawyer Barry Zuckerkorn (Henry Winkler). Meanwhile, George Michael is nervous about appearing in a living art exhibition.

Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn

Narrator: Michael Bluth had called a meeting with the family's longtime attorney to discuss his father's incarceration.
Barry: I am so sorry. It was a client. Okay.
Narrator: But he was finding it difficult to get any answers.
Barry: How long was I on the phone?
Michael: Twenty-five minutes.
Barry: Well, you know, with the cell phone charges, I'm gonna round it out to about an hour 'cause it's easier to bill all right.


Quote from Michael

Barry: Anything else to go over?
Michael: We've got everything else to go over. We haven't done anything to get my dad out of jail.
Barry: Okay. First of all... [places hand on Lucille's knee] What are you doing? Pilates? Because no 40-year-old woman should look like that.
Michael: Well, no 40-year-old woman does look like that. [Lindsay laughs]
Narrator: He was, however, getting along with his sister which was unwelcome news to their mother who feared this unity might be used against her.

Quote from Barry Zuckerkorn

Narrator: The Living Classics Pageant, an Orange County tradition, consists of live representations of classic works of art. The Bluth family has participated not only as a patron but as an integral part of its most popular exhibit Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam.
Buster: I don't really want to be Adam this year.
Barry: Well, if you want to play Eve, you got to get in line behind, what, about five homos. [chuckles] [silence] That was wrong. I'm... I'm so sorry. It's just that I have one down at the office now and, I mean, it is every day.

Quote from Lindsay

Lindsay: Maeby, where have you been?
Maeby: You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right?
Tobias: Uh, yes, of course we remember and we were worried sick, young lady. She's fine. Our daughter's all right, everybody, so... [to Lindsay] You said you didn't want her to come.
Lindsay: I said I didn't want you to come.
Tobias: Oh, that makes more sense.
Lindsay: Now she's going to think we're totally self-involved.
Tobias: I can fix this. Buster's probably still in the lobby. Let me go see if I can't get him to give me the part of Adam.
Lindsay: Okay, and I'll see if I can get some money from my mom.

Quote from Lucille

Lindsay: Wow. What a party. You make it seem so effortless.
Lucille: What do you need money for? A divorce?
Lindsay: No, Mom. Tobias and I are doing fine, thank you. It's my credit card debt.
Lucille: Forget it.
Lindsay: Fine. I'll ask Michael. He'll give it to me.
Lucille: Maybe if you get him drunk. It's the only way he'll give money to someone he calls a "stay-in-bed mom."
Lindsay: He said that about me?
Lucille: I thought it was harsh. But, you know, he thinks you're completely irresponsible. A stay-in-bed mom. Probably because you don't work, and you're lazy. Oh, his words.
Lindsay: I can't believe him.
Lucille: I know! just when you were getting along so well.

Quote from Buster

Narrator: Michael Meanwhile, Buster was trying to get George Michael to take his place as Adam.
George Michael: I don't know, Uncle Buster.
Buster: Well, you don't have the "frontspiece" yet.
George Michael: "Frontspiece"?
Buster: Look, I don't want to go through a whole song and dance with you. You're going to love it. You just can't do anything that violates the original painting, like giggling or itching. They do allow some nervous crying, but you can tell they don't like it.

Quote from Tobias

George Michael: You know, I'd be happy to let you play Adam.
Tobias: Give me the suit. Give me the suit.
George Michael: I'm actually wearing it right now, and I can't tell you why.
Tobias: You're wearing it right now?
George Michael: I have to wear it all the time. You'd never understand.
Tobias: Oh, please. I'll never under- I'll never understand that you can never be nude? [takes of gown to reveal denim cutoffs] I understand more than you'll never know. [walks out]
George Michael: Yikes.

Quote from Buster

Narrator: And Buster finally gave in to Lucille 2's wishes.
Lucille Austero: You ready to show me off before God and the whole world?
Buster: It's not my dad's reaction I'm worried about.

Quote from Tobias

Announcer: And now, ladies and gentlemen Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam.
Narrator: And George Michael made his debut...
Michael: Hey, that's my.... Yikes.
Narrator: ...breaking the pageant's cardinal rule.
Man: How dare he!
Tobias: Oh, stop booing! There's nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

Quote from Maeby

Maeby: Ever get the feeling like you don't even matter?
Lucille: Only when I'm around my children.
Maeby: You reach a certain age, and you have to practically scream to get noticed.
Lucille: They turn you into a monster, and then they call you one.
Maeby: I don't think you're a monster.
Lucille: And I think you're a lovely girl. You know what? I think you and I ought to spend more time together.
Maeby: Yeah. That'll drive them crazy.
Lucille: Exactly.

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