Michael: I think George Michael's hiding Ann in the attic.
Lindsay: From who, the Nazis?

George Michael: That was great.
Michael: Well, I meant it. So no more secret trips up to the attic. Right?
Narrator: George Michael didn't want to betray his grandfather, but it appeared his father already knew the truth.
George Michael: I have Pop-Pop in the attic.
Michael: What?! The mere fact that you call making love "pop-pop" tells me you're not ready.

Narrator: Michael was adjusting to his new position as vice president which meant doing the work of the president, his brother Gob.
Gob: Michael.
Michael: Hey.
Gob: So, did you see the new Poof?
Michael: [closes the door] His name's Gary, and we don't need any more lawsuits.
Gob: No, I was talking about the magazine- Wait. Gary's gay?
Michael: Yeah.
Gob: Uh-oh. He's gonna think I was coming on to him.
[flashbacks:]
Gob: You've got a nice mouth.
Gob: I'd kill for that ass.
Gob: Okay, the chair's not doing it now but lately it's been giving out as soon as I lean back.

Gob: Anyway, I was talking about Poof magazine, the magazine for magicians.
Michael: Yeah.
Gob: Look, this guy Tony Wonder bakes himself into a loaf of bread and pops out of a giant sandwich to feed the troops. I had that idea 10 months ago.
Michael: You had that idea?
Gob: Well, basically. I was gonna boil myself alive into a chowder and then be ladled into a giant cauldron to entertain and feed the firemen.
Michael: That's pretty close.
Gob: I should be in this Poof!

Lucille: Oscar, close it. You look like the window of a butcher shop. [quietly on the phone] Thank God I can finally get rid of him.

Michael: No, his girlfriend, from me. I just caught him sneaking up to her in the attic and he clearly did so because he thinks I don't approve. You know, I think I'm gonna invite her to the wake. Why make him hide? Why do to him what- Why do to him what Dad used to do to me?
Lindsay: [sobs] He was so amazing.
Michael: That was actually an example of how not so amazing he was. Boy, you're really going through something here, huh?
Lindsay: I know! You know, it's funny, all those years when I pretended to cry I used to use Dad's death to get me going. I tried it with Mom's, but I'd just end up smiling and ruining it.

Tobias: Here he comes. Here comes John Wayne. "I'm not gonna cry about my pa. I'm gonna build an airport, put my name on it." Why, Michael? So you can fly away from your feelings? You can keep 'em bottled up, but they will come out, Michael. Sometimes in the most unexpected- Hey, where the [bleep] are my hard-boiled eggs?

Michael: [answers phone] Michael Bluth.
Lucille: He found him. Ice found your father.
Narrator: Michael recently had hired a bounty hunter to track down his fugitive father.
Michael: Wh-Where?
Lucille: He's coming over here at 5:00 to tell us. But he wants to get paid first.
Michael: Dad goes back to jail, I can be cleared, I can be president again.
Gob: And I'm halfway to getting out of this office and into a steaming bowl of soup.
Michael: Everybody wins.
Gob: Yeah.

Maeby: That's got to bother you, huh, Dad? I mean, she's flirting right in front of you.
Tobias: Hmm? Oh! [chuckles] No. I am surprised, though, that she's going after somebody so similar to my own type. But I suppose we all do expose our inner desires, don't we?
Maeby: I think you just did.
Tobias: No, I didn't.

Maeby: Is there any way I can divorce them?
Barry: Oh, sure. It's called emancipation. But you've got to prove that you're living in an unstable environment.
Maeby: Both my parents are trying to have affairs. Of course, they haven't succeeded yet.
Buster: If they do, I could have you out of this house, on the street, in a month.
Maeby: Sweet!