‘Forget-Me-Now’
Season 3, Episode 3 - Aired October 3, 2005
Michael tries to keep Rita (Charlize Theron) from meeting his family. Meanwhile, the family takes on a new attorney, Bob Loblaw (Scott Baio).
Quote from Buster
Michael: And, Mom, what is with all the family photos?
Tobias: Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself. I'm surrogating your mother.
Michael: By wearing her sealskin coat?
Tobias: Michael, I have tried on everything, and nothing seems be working.
Buster: I thought the Donna Karan worked; you just didn't have the right shoes.
Quote from Maeby
Narrator: Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's sexual expectations, Maeby tried to cancel her date.
Maeby: My whole family and I now have to go to my grandma's house, 'cause my uncle lost his hand.
Steve Holt: Awesome! So you and I can party alone at your house.
Narrator: Maeby was too young to know what to do. Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive, she'd just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue.
Maeby: Rock the house.
Quote from Buster
Narrator: Back at the penthouse, party preparations were underway.
Lucille: He's not wearing that to the party. I've go the exact same thing.
Buster: No, he was just analraping me.
Quote from Gob
Gob: It's okay, she's alive. And soft. Soft and alive.
Lucille: All right, let's not add that to the charges.
Gob: What do we do?
Lucille: She's going to tell Michael. And he won't hear the good stuff. He'll just hear about the beating.
Gob: Wait! Maybe we can give her a Forget-Me-Now. Here you go, hot dog. Take the pill.
Lucille: What's a Forget-Me-Now?
Gob: They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettiness. So if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give 'em one of these, and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit, like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether.
Tobias: Gob, this is Flunitrazepam. It's a roofie.
Lucille: Those are illegal.
Gob: Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these.
Quote from Maeby
Narrator: And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt.
George Michael: What have you guys been doing?
Maeby: I gave him a roofie. A girl's got to grow up sometime.
George Michael: He's your cousin.
Maeby: My cousin?
George Michael: I should have told you that. Now you've drugged him and had your way with him. How is that even possible?
Maeby: No, George Michael, we didn't do anything. I just wanted him to think we did. Don't you see? I drugged him not to go all the way with him.
George Michael: Well, I think even the anti-drug people are going to be okay with that.
Maeby: Well, let's get his pants back on.
George Michael: You took his pants off?
Quote from Lindsay
Narrator: Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney.
Bob Loblaw: Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn. I think I can do for you everything he did. Plus, skew younger. With juries and so forth. Any other questions?
Lindsay: Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads?
[TV commercial:]
Announcer: [v.o.] Are you a CEO, CFO or other executive facing these or similar charges?
Bob Loblaw: Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? You don't need double-talk. You need Bob Loblaw.
Announcer: [v.o.] Bob Loblaw, no habla Espanol.
Quote from Narrator
Narrator: And Michael hurried to the British section Orange County for his date.
Man: Crazy American! Get out of the road.
Narrator: Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant.
Quote from Michael
Waiter: Hey, dudes, I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas to wash down this basket of doughnut and get your nachos started.
Michael: I guess this is what the British think of Americans. We like our food.
Rita: Whatever do you mean? [eats donut]
Michael: Yeah.
Quote from Michael
Michael: You know, Rita, you're going to figure this out eventually, but I have not been on a date in a long, long time.
Rita: [mouth full] Neither have I.
Michael: I wonder why? No, I bet men ask you out constantly.
Rita: Not men like you. I seem to only meet little boys.
Michael: Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool.
Rita: And they think the stupidest things are funny.
Michael: Yeah, that's a cultural problem, is what it is, you know. Your average American male is in perpetual state of adolescence, you know. Arrested Development.
Narrator: Hey, that's the name of the show.
Michael: No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical conv-
Narrator: Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier.
Quote from Michael
Narrator: So he came up with a solution so simple, he'd wondered why he'd never told anyone it before.
Michael: I don't have a family. I can't believe I've never told anybody that before.
Rita: That's so sad.
Michael: Yes, it's sad. Super sad. Shall we eat?