Narrator: George, Sr. had just discovered that the millions of dollars of American property he owned was worthless...
George Sr.: [on the phone] How did you not notice? You saw all the papers.
Narrator: ...and in Mexico.
Barry: You can't expect me to read every page of that deal. Besides, that one was particularly difficult because it was all in Spanish. It says very clearly, on my business card, "Se habla espanol." I do not speak Spanish.

Gob: I'm not a limo driver. I'm a gentleman honey farmer. The only thing I've got back there are my bees.
George Sr.: Beans?
Gob: No, bees.
George Sr.: Bees?
Gob: Bees.
George Sr.: [opens door] Bees! Oh! Bees!
Gob: The boxes fell over on the way here when I had to swerve to avoid an ostrich.
George Sr.: You got to do something about this. These people paid a lot of money. Do something.
Gob: No, they won't listen to me. They've all got CCD.
George Sr.: CCD?
Gob: Colony Collapse Disorder. The guy sold me just really sick bees.

George Sr.: [on the phone] Hold on. A client is coming, and I don't know where Oscar is, he's disappeared. And there is something up with him because he is scary now. He has changed.
Barry: Hey, you've changed, you big [bleep]. You're acting like a little girl lately, and not in a good way. Pull yourself together. Act like a man.
George Sr.: You're right, you're right. Okay, love you.
Barry: Love you, too. Bye.

George Sr.: You know, I don't get it. I've been popping the pills, and I mean, nothing.
Dr. Norman: Are you under any pressure?
George Sr.: Oh, no. Nothing out of the ordinary. I mean, there's some violating Federal law stuff that'd put me in prison for the rest of my life, but I've made love with treason charges over me before. But no, it's something else. It's not just the sex. I feel... I feel wrong. Somehow. And I'm becoming weak. [sobs]

Michael: Gob, I don't think that the movie it might not even happen because I don't think that I can ask my son... What happened between him and me was very disappointing.
Gob: You don't need to tell me about disappointment and sons. Let's not forget Steve Holt. That's the story of our relationship.
Michael: Right. Well, I was talking about a son disappointing a father.
Gob: Yeah, that does make it different.

Herbert Love: Do I look like someone who eats at C.W. Swappigan's? See, I stand for three things. One, getting Barack Hussein Obama Wama, Karma Mama On My Llama out of office.
George Sr.: It's a crazy-town name.
Herbert Love: Two, low taxes for high-income earners. That's my low-high plan.
George Sr.: I know it.
Herbert Love: And three, getting a little something in my slushie fund so that I'm nice and loose and can help make numbers one and two happen. I don't want to be the one to say it, but I happen to be fond of redheads and greenbacks.
Narrator: George, Sr. had neither.
George Sr.: How would you like both?
Herbert Love: Get it for me tonight and I'll make your wall thing the third point of my three-point plan. All I got right now is, "You want to reach your hand into my pocket to pay for your birth control?" "I get to put my hand in your pocket to put it in." But when I unveiled it in Garden Grove, I had to duck a woman's pump and a mini pizza. Oops.

Lucille: We may need to have a president ready to go if something should happen to Lucille 2 while we're building the wall.
Oscar: So we are building a wall. Right where Oscar thought he would be spending the rest of his life.
Lucille: [chuckles] Turn him around three times and put him in Fullerton. He won't know the difference.
Oscar: Fullerton.
Lucille: You know, I think we should send our son down there. Give him some training, show that he has a job, let him sweat a little.
Oscar: Buster? No, no. I won't hear of it. It could kill him.
Lucille: I meant Gob.
Oscar: Oh! Oh, fine. Yeah, send him down. I love that.

George Sr.: Excuse me, Red, you're not the only one who likes coconut shrimp.
Lindsay: Well, I should have known you'd be here, supporting this right-wing, dangerous crackpot.
George Sr.: Lindsay, I forgot you dyed your hair. What are you doing here?
Lindsay: I'm supporting Love as well. We're both doing that.
George Sr.: Oh, honey, I've wanted to contact you every single day since last May.
Lindsay: I haven't seen you since January.
George Sr.: Yeah, the first four months, I was in denial.

George Sr.: [on the phone] I bribed Love to push for the building of the wall, and I don't have the land to build it on.
Barry: Call Herbert Love, all right? Tell him you would greatly appreciate it if he'd rescind his support of the wall.
George Sr.: And make him a flip-flopper? I can't do that.
Narrator: Actually, he'd tried, but couldn't afford it.
[flashback:]
Hors D'oeuvre Server: It's a 40 for the flip and a 40 for the flop, and since it's going to cause a flap, I'd say another 40. So it's a flat 40-40-40 flip-flop and a flap fee.

Narrator: In fact, it was Oscar who spoke to Lucille about hiring Gob, but not before an ominous warning.
Oscar: But, you know, he has magical abilities. He can handle a lot more than we give him credit for.
Lucille: [nods] I know. What?!