Michael: Who is giving you this award?
Gob: Check it, Mike. My anchor is giving us the award. See, she used to be an Orange County weather girl, which is just tits, teeth and ass, right? Now she's the host of O.C. Can You Say, which is tits, teeth, public affairs, ass, some light interviews. I mean, it's so much more responsibility!
Joni Beard: He's making it sound more important than it really is.
Michael: Is he?
Lucille: She was married to that news anchor who said such horrible things about me when I was trying to save Buster with that boat. John Beard.
Gob: Yeah. Well, she's my Beard now.