Lucille: Look at what Buster sent from the army.
Michael: It's blacked out.
Oscar: Oh, the government. Keep reading.
Michael: "Sergeant Blank is treating me very blank and it looks like I'll be shipping off to blank in about a blank.
I blank you, Mother. Buster."
Lucille: I've done everything I can. I even tried to convince them he's gay, but no one would believe that a woman like me would have a gay son.
Michael: Well, you certainly tried. You guys wore matching outfits till he was 12.
Narrator: Even once on a magazine cover that had been mocked within the family for years.