George Michael: Hey, I thought I heard something before like a wolf drowning or something.
Michael: Uh... I think that that was maybe the house settling. Speaking of settling, how's Ann? I mean, have you- have you settled on an artist's work to burn?
George Michael: Well, I was thinking Eminem for a while.
Michael: Sure.
George Michael: But everyone is gonna be burning Eminem. So, you know- And then I got this Pat Boone album, but the guy is Christian. But, you know, I don't know. Somebody's gotta burn, right?
Michael: Well, I guess.

Tobias: Oh, boy, I got some looks on the bus 'cause of this.
Michael: What are you doing with that thing?
Tobias: I am going to catch that wolf, Michael. I'm gonna shoot it with this tranquilizer gun, get the reward, and bid on my woman at the charity auction.
Michael: Isn't there some kind of a waiting period for a rifle like that?
Tobias: [scoffs] It turns out there is.
[flashback:]
Tobias: Two weeks? Isn't there a loophole?
Gun Vendor: There is a gun show loophole.
[present:]
Tobias: What timing, huh? I mean, right out back they were having one. Gob, I'm going hunting for my wife.

Gob: How lame was Lucille 2 at lunch, huh?
Michael: You've gotten attached, haven't you?
Gob: You're not gonna tell anybody about this, are you?
Michael: Come on. I'm not one to judge. Every time I've gone out with Sally, I've looked like I'm 12 years old. But, yes, I probably will tell people about this.
Gob: Maybe we can strike up a deal. You keep this to yourself, I help you get Sally. Siphon a little something from her car, you show up in the Corvette, looking like a man. "Car troubles?" [small explosion]
Michael: Probably shouldn't do the fireball when you siphon the gas.
Gob: I guess this flint's still got a little life left in it, huh?

Lucille Austero: What you did to me at lunch today, you were ashamed to be with me.
Gob: No! I was ashamed to be seen with you. I like being with you.
Lucille Austero: I'm sorry, but you have no courage.
Gob: How can you say that? Shh. [quietly] I thought I heard my mom. How can you say that?

George Michael: I can't believe how many people you told about this.
Maeby: Yeah, I hope I didn't confuse people by saying it was a CD burning party.
Steve Holt: Great party! Maeby, I burned like 10 CD's from somebody's MP3 player.
Ann: This is a disaster.
Maeby: You know, maybe you should just try listening to some of the music.
George Michael: Yeah, some of the artists are kind of talented. I don't know if you've heard of The Jerky Boys. They do prank phone calls. It's kind of old school, but... I have the tape in my room. I accidentally didn't burn it yet.

Lindsay: Stick a wrench in me. I'm done.

Tobias: My wife is humiliated. This is my chance to right the small wrong that I did.
Michael: You shot her in the ass with about four ounces of horse tranquilizer.
Tobias: I haven't been the perfect husband. Yes, I admit that. But now is my chance to be a hero. Please, Michael, give me some of your money.
Michael: I've got $5,000, and I need that for Sally, but if you wanna make a low bid-
Tobias: Five thousand dollars.
Auctioneer: For that? Sold. [Lindsay collapses]
Michael: I think you overpaid.

Maeby: Hey, George Michael, Jesus called. He wants your Thriller album.
Michael: Yeah, I don't think the bonfire is such a great idea.
George Michael: I know it might be weird, but Ann's my girlfriend so I think I'll go buy some albums today. Hey, can you cover for me at the banana stand if I-
Maeby: No.
Michael: I'll cover for you, pal. It's been a long time since I've been down at that banana stand.
George Michael: Oh, okay. Good. [quietly to Maeby] It's the only way we're ever gonna get it air-conditioned.

Lucille: Michael! How would you like me to owe you a favor? I want you to bid on me at the charity auction this year.
Michael: Okay. Now I'd like to use up my favor and decline. And isn't that Buster's annual job?
Lucille: Yes, but I can't have a replay of last year.
Narrator: When Buster inadvertently bid on Lucille 2.
Michael: And you're embarrassed to have Oscar bid on you.
Lucille: With his two pair of pants? You bet.

Tobias: Bad news, Michael. I'm afraid the Blue Man Group and I have parted ways. Seems I'm officially no longer a standby understudy.
Michael: "Cease and desist."
Tobias: Seems they don't appreciate competition.
Narrator: Tobias had recently taken out an ad in a trade magazine for a one-man show.
Tobias: And the worst part is Lindsay's out there chasing some successful actor. Television's Frank Wrench. I need to prove to her that I'm not just a man, but a man's man.
Michael: Well, I think she knows that. [wolf howls]
Tobias: Jesus! It's the wolf! That is the wolf! The wolf is upstairs!
Michael: I think it's just my son's Peter and the Wolf record.
Tobias: I thought that was a Homefill.