Lindsay: [on the phone] Hi, Mama. It's Linds.
Lucille: Get a job.
Lindsay: Look. Just hear me out. It's Maeby's dress. It was stolen from her locker. They beat her up, and, uh, took all her clothes.
Lucille: Send her over. I'll take her shopping.
Lindsay: Buster was right. You get off on being withholding, don't you?
Lucille: Buster said that?
Lindsay: That's right.
Lucille: My Buster?
Lindsay: Not anymore, apparently.

George Michael: So, I quit the play. I don't really like plays. Also, I think your dad thinks I'm gay.
Maeby: Oh. He thinks everyone's gay.
George Michael: Do you wanna get a soda?
Maeby: I can't. I'm actually back in the play. We're in the middle of dress rehearsal now.
George Michael: But I thought Steve had your part.
Narrator: Steve did have Maeby's part. And Tobias had given Maeby a new part.
[flashback:]
Maeby: So you want me to play the man?
Tobias: Yes. Don't you see? l-I cast the parts all wrong. It was Daddy's fault.
Maeby: And I still get to kiss Steve, right?
[present:]
Maeby: It's gonna be a huge disaster. I'll get you tickets.

Michael: Buster is a grown man. He can make his own decisions. Why don't you ask Buster what he wants.
Buster: Michael. I wanna go with Mom.
Michael: You said that she shoots you down.
Buster: I was trying to fit in.
Michael: You were flying today, buddy.
Buster: Yes, I was flying but a little too close to the sun.
Lucille: You let him go in the sun? Get in the backseat. I'll be right out.
Buster: Front seat, Mom. I sit in the front seat now.

Lucille: Let me tell you something, Michael. You have to fight for your family. If you were smart, you'd grab your son before he slips any further away.
Michael: Well, I disagree, Mom. I'm not gonna control George Michael. I'm gonna let him decide for himself what's best.
Lucille: Mm-hmm. Well, you better hope that little bird decides to fly back into your house. Because they usually don't. [kisses Michael on the cheek]

Narrator: And George Michael watched as Maeby shared the kiss that should've been his with a boy he almost had to kiss. But, to Maeby's surprise, she did not enjoy kissing Steve Holt.
Maeby: You smell like my mom.

Tobias: And Steven Holt. Where is Steven Holt?
Steve Holt: Steve Holt!
Tobias: Yes. Get ready for the acting challenge of your sweet young life, fair lady. For you are my Beatrice.
Steve Holt: Beatrice!
Tobias: Let's take it from "Peace, I will stop thy mouth." Now we'll see if some sparks fly.