Gob: Well, I talked to Dad, and he thinks that I should stay in it.
Michael: Stay in the marriage? You're not letting Dad lead you around by the nose again, are you?
Gob: Think about it. I've got the marriage and none of the good parts. It's like, so far it's been all chain and no ball.

Narrator: The next day, Gob visited his father to prepare for his bachelor party.
Gob: You know, I really think that you're gonna like this woman.
George Sr.: Well, she's costing me enough, but she's oh, she's a hell of a stripper.
Gob: No, I mean my wife.
George Sr.: Oh. Well, I... I doubt that very much.

Tobias: Stop! It is not Zanotab.
Lindsay: Well, maybe if I was allowed to have a Zanotab, I'd remember it's Euphorazine.
Tobias: No. We are not going to do that again. This family is not about to start using. We are pushers, not takers.

George Michael: Anyway, I thought you hated fishing.
Michael: No, it's fun. I like fun. I just hated doing it with my dad. This is gonna be you and me. Okay? We get to stay at a hotel, get up at 4:00 am, slap on the old sea sick patch. We're gonna get out there on the choppy ocean. We're gonna catch ourselves a little lunch.
George Michael: Oh, we get to eat it?
Michael: After we gut it.
George Michael: Yes.

Gob: Why do I have to bring him?
Lucille: Because Buster's your brother and I'm not gonna leave him home alone with all this J-U-l-C-E around.
Buster: I can spell, Mom. You spelled "juice."
Lucille: Oh, you're so brilliant. Let's see you find it. Besides, I'm going to Annyong's soccer award ceremony.
Annyong: Annyong.
Lucille: And I don't need the other soccer moms knowing how old my first batch of kids are.
Gob: Yeah, I think they're gonna know that Annyong's-
Annyong: Annyong.
Gob: Would somebody please tell this insufferable child to... God!

Michael: I'm gonna go fishing with my son here. We're gonna go have some fun. Real fun. Okay? Not everything is strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?
Gob: It's not real blood. It's, uh, corn syrup and red dye. Juice.
Buster: We have unlimited juice? [chuckles] This party is gonna be off the hook.

Drug Rep: Here are the new Euphorazine side effects.
Tobias: Ah, the solo. That is for my lovely and talented daughter.
Maeby: "Delayed irritability?" What do they mean by delayed?
Ira Gilligan: It means it comes later! This is ridiculous! Why do we even have to do this?
Tobias: We are doing this to keep our family together.
Lindsay: No, I'm serious. We're dressed like we're in the '60s. It's the 21st century. We should be dressing like it's the '80s.
Tobias: Lindsay.
Lindsay: I'm tired of trying to find happiness through lies and self-medicating. If you need me, I'll be at the bar.

Gob: What do you say, hermano? Help me clean up this mess?
Michael: What the hell.
Bride of Gob: [enters] Gob, I want out. I'm in love with your brother...
Gob: What? You did it again, you son of a bitch!
Michael: No, no! [Gob punches Michael]
Bride of Gob: In-law. Tobias. Sorry. I should have finished that thought.

Narrator: Michael was meeting with the company's accountant, Ira Gilligan.
Ira Gilligan: Anyway, I have gone over this and you're reporting income on an account that- You know, it is just freezing in here.
Michael: Well, the thermostat is in my office. While it's freezing in here, it's still hot in there. So please continue.
Ira Gilligan: There's basically no money where it should be. I think I'm catching a cold.
Michael: You're not catching a cold.
Ira Gilligan: I know my body.

Michael: So there's no money in the account?
Ira Gilligan: I'm sorry. This is like the bayou in here.
Michael: Well, I tried to tell you that.
Ira Gilligan: Well, I guess I just had to find out for myself.