Ava: Let me see these permission slips to the zoo. And they better be real, 'cause I can tell if you faked a Herbie Hancock.
Janine: Oh, it's John Hancock.
Ava: Girl, I know. I just say whatever I want. You ain't learned that yet? [chuckles] Chad, did you forge your mom's signature?
Chad: No?
Ava: It says "Chad's Mom."
Chad: That's her name?
Ava: You're staying behind with the rest of the kids who don't have permission slips. Come on.

Ava: It's zoo time! [kids cheering] I got some free chaperones so that I could save money... We could save money!
Barbara: One of whom is my daughter, Taylor. And Taylor lives in New York City!
Children: Boo!
Melissa: Boo! O-Oh, sorry. I heard people booing New York, and my instinct just kicked in.

Melissa: Okay. What big cat's everybody gonna see first?
Children: Lions!
Melissa: Lion. That's right. Boom.
Ava: Meow, y'all! [laughs]
Melissa: What? Ava, you really had to change into that?
Ava: Of course I did. The zoo is a Mecca for single dads. Better pickings than a Sunday brunch up in there. Now, who ready for the zoo?!

Mr. Johnson: You like dancing? Well, this dance is called "the vac it up." I heard it's going viral. You, plug it in. I want y'all to take turns and have fun.

Barbara: All right, children, get ready to see my favorite animal... The tuatara! It's a lizard that arrived here at the zoo the same year I started teaching. What? Where's... Oh, excuse me. Where's Duster?
Zoo Keeper: Oh, he's in a reserve. When the stimulation here gets to be too much, we retire them.
Barbara: Retire them? But he's been here as long as I've been coming.
Zoo Keeper: Cycle of life.
Barbara: Oh. Melissa, they have retired my Duster.
Melissa: Retired like my Uncle Anthony or retired like my Uncle Tony? [off Barbara's look] It's just a lizard, Barb.
Barbara: Duster is a tuatara. He is an institution that I have been coming here to visit for 30 years. He's been working as long as I have! Retirement?
Melissa: Okay, guys, let's give Mrs. Howard a minute. Move out.

Janine: Oh, my God. We lost Kenny. [off Melissa's look] I lost Kenny. I lost a kid. I'm negligent.
Ava: Damn. You're supposed to be the boring, dependable one. This is an unsanctioned field trip.

Mr. Johnson: [to himself] Kondo, you so crazy.
Chad: I am so bored.
Mr. Johnson: Oh, you're bored? Then write me a one-page essay due by the end of the day.
Chad: About what?
Mr. Johnson: Um, how about superheroes?
Shahrzad: Can I just draw?
Mr. Johnson: Whatever it takes to keep you out of my hair.
Shahrzad: Sir, you are bald.

Melissa: You know, I gotta tell you, watching you snap into Super Barbara Mode, that really took me back to when we started working at Abbott.
Barbara: That was back when I used to dress like Janine.
Melissa: [laughs] You're not a turturro.
Jacob: Tuatara.
Melissa: Whatever. My point is, unlike the fancy lizard, no one's gonna take you and put you in the back. I mean, it's up to you. My opinion - you've gotten better with age. Like good wine and Stanley Tucci.
Barbara: [chuckles] Well, you know, maybe one day, I will pack it in. But today is not that day.

Janine: [aside to camera] Did you see me up there? I am so happy that Kenny is fine and that we're gonna get him to the second grade, but, like, I don't know. What a rush! [laughs] I can make changes. And... change is good. Everyone's making changes. I am always out of breath. It's like... What is that? Because I feel like I should get that checked out.

Ava: [aside to camera] I'm so glad they found that kid. I thought I was gon' lose my job again. [chuckles]