Mr. Johnson Quote #21
Quote from Mr. Johnson in Open House
Melissa: Mr. J! Come on. It's time.
Mr. Johnson: Hey, it's me, Mr. Johnson. I look different in my after-work clothes. You got him to play?
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Jacob: I think I'll be okay. You know, I... I've dabbled in Uno.
Melissa: Yeah, see? He dabbled in Uno. Listen, this is a nice, friendly game. You got nothing to worry about.
Jacob: Well, wonderful.
Melissa: Sit your ass down.
Mr. Johnson: Papa's getting a new set of brooms! [laughs]
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Open House’ Quotes
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: Okay, I'm back. Had to show a couple of parents... how to get to another school. They were in the wrong place. [reshuffles cards] Oh, sorry, Mr. Johnson, I gotta do that. Last time I trusted someone else to shuffle, I lost a kidney.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
[After studying his hand, Jacob goes to slide all his chips in]
Melissa: Okay! Just wait. I can't let you do this, kid. Why don't we just say we're playing for these chips and not real money?
Mr. Johnson: A bet is a bet. I gambled away my house, my car, and my subscription to Horse Fancy. No one ever said, "That's okay, Mr. Johnson. It was an honest mistake."
Quote from Ava
Ava: [over P.A.] Principal A-A-Ava, son! Another one! Check out this oldie but goodie by my guy Ginuwine! It's called "Pony," y'all! And he ain't talking about a horse! ["Pony" plays over P.A.] Superintendent Collins, you showed.
Superintendent Collins: Just stopping by for a quick tour.
Ava: Well, if you want to waste your time, fine by me. But you know if you got a problem, there's nothing you can do about it.
Superintendent Collins: It's my job to be here.
Ava: Well, I wouldn't want to cheat you out of a tour. [chuckles] I say that 'cause you cheated on your wife.
Superintendent Collins: I got it the first time.
Ava: Let me put on some Toni Braxton. You'll like this one. It's called... [echoing] "Love Shoulda Brought You Home"!