Jacob Quote #21
Jacob: [to Gregory] And, uh, oh, you know Melissa, of course. She's, uh... you know, the Southern Philly type.
Melissa: 'Scuse me? You talking about me?
Jacob: Yeah, uh... I was... I was saying you are a, uh... A... A Southern Philly Type.
Melissa: South Philly.
Jacob: Right. Right. That's what I said. Right. Honestly, it's like... It's like the best part of our beautiful city. I love how you guys will just, like, park anywhere.
Melissa: Yeah, okay.
Jacob: You know, I'm actually teaching a lesson right now about the unions in the city and how many of them started in South Philly.
Melissa: Oh, no way. I know some guys that were part of that. I'm glad you're teaching that to the kids. Good job. [exits]
Jacob: Just like I said... she is a shady lady. [watches Melissa walk away] Mm. That's why you and me, we got to stick together, man. You know? Like coffee and creamer. [Gregory has gone]
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘New Tech’ Quotes
Quote from Barbara
Janine: Just wanted to check in in case this was tricky for you. You know, I grew up with this stuff and it gets me sometimes. I somehow lost my crypto wallet. [chuckles] But you come from a different generation, and so it would be totally understandable if you were having trouble with it.
Barbara: Are you kidding me? I'm Miss Tech, you know. I love tech. Shop at the App Store. Got a Hotmail. I once even rode in a Tesla. I'm already ahead on the first couple of lessons.
Janine: Wow. Well, that's great. Can I see?
Barbara: No. Janine, you're disturbing my students.
Janine: I'm... I'm whispering.
Barbara: It's just your... overall presence, so if you wouldn't mind just excusing yourself? I'm a little behind on my Hotmail correspondences.
Quote from Ava
Ava: I've done more for this school in one year than he did for the whole movie, so I-
Barbara: Okay, thank you.
Ava: Oh, I guess it's time to go. That kid's a reading fool.
Barbara: Good afternoon, Abbott. My student, William, will be reading Jack and Jill.
Ava: Oh! [laughs] Change of plans. My copy of Michelle Obama's book just came in, and since Will reads at a 4th grade level, that shouldn't be a problem.
Barbara: Oh, no. I really think that Will would prefer to read...
Ava: Don't nobody want to hear about pails and water and whatnot. We want to hear what "Michelle O" got to say. I hope there's a section in there about her meet cute with my man, Barry Hussein.
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: Hey, Hill. That lesson, that was garbage. That's not what happened.
Jacob: Okay, well, I've read several books on the subject. I think I know the history of the lesson.
Melissa: Well, me and my family lived it, so I think we know the history.
Jacob: I've also listened to several podcasts.
Melissa: Look, how about this? I know a guy who was actually a captain back in the day. How about I hook you up, he can come to the class and do like an eyewitness account for the kids?
[aside to camera:]
Jacob: Unexpected, but I am so happy Melissa's bringing in a police captain. He's gonna be able to talk to the kids about how this is done peacefully.
[separately to camera:]
Melissa: I'm just really happy Vinny, the strike captain, is out of jail so he can do this. It's also gonna count towards his community service. Just 100 more hours, and his record's cleared.