Jacob: So they were receptive?
Janine: Oh, very receptive. They don't want to be sued if some kid slips and falls on a desk. Hey, Ally, what... what are you doing?
Miss Williams: You ain't hear? The school district's making us take all our desks out of our classrooms.
Ava: Somebody snitched. Told the school district that we have some dangerous viral trend that could leave the city at risk for "legal culpability." All because I wasn't trying to solve the problem at all.
Miss Williams: What idiot thought the school district was gonna help?
Janine: Huh. What... Yeah, what well-intentioned idiot?

Melissa: Janine, how many times is tattling gonna bite you in the culo before you quit being a narc?
Barbara: Mm. I am too old to be doing all of this.
Jacob: At least you guys are on the same floor as the gym.
[flashback to Jacob dropping a desk down the stairs]
Janine: Look, guys, I know this is a minor inconvenience, but at least we stopped desking. Right? Yay!
Melissa: Mm.
Mr. Johnson: Or we've created the greatest desking arena ever known to man.
Melissa: What fresh hell is this?
Barbara: Oh, Janine.

Ava: It's like desking Six Flags!
Barbara: We are just leading the children into temptation, like Satan.
Melissa: Mm-hmm.
Janine: Is it that bad?
Gregory: I think if I was a young person who was interested in desking, it might, you know, call to me.
Ava: Relax, y'all. I've been refreshing all my feeds, and we're in the clear. There's no way the kids know about this.
Mr. Johnson: You sure about that?
Boy: [on video] [electronic voice] By the end of the week, I will desk the Abbott Elementary Gym. [door squeaks open]

Janine: I really felt like I was bonding with these kids and that they liked me, and as much as I felt that, and as much as Ava wants to be cool, Barbara was right. Kids will always think teachers are lame. Can't fight that, but we can use it. Once I do this and those kids see it, desking will be corny and over. Jacob, we rolling? [rhythmic clapping]
Melissa: Kill it! [rhythmic clapping] You got this, Janine.
Ava: Whoo!
Gregory: Don't- Don't say that. I don't believe that she does.
Melissa: No. She's got it.
Gregory: She's not very coordinated.
Melissa: She's gonna kill it.
Gregory: Oh! [thud] God.
Barbara: And she's down.

Janine: I'm okay. No. Ow. I'm okay. Ow. No, no, no. I can still do this. You know, this is my Kerri Strug moment.
Gregory: No, it's your "stay down and let me get you some ice" moment. Okay? Y- Your ankle's blowing up. You're not gonna be walking, let alone desking.
Janine: But someone has to do this. Someone the kids will think is really lame. [all turn to Jacob]

Janine: Hey, what's everyone watching?
Girl #1: Yo, some white boul desked the gym!
Jacob: [on video] Check it!
Boy: Whoa! He's wearing the Honeydew suedes.
Jacob: [on video] [breathing heavily] Abbott Ultimate Desking Challenge. Done! Teacher style.
Girl #1: Whoa, what the... Is that Mr. C?
Girl #2: Desking's deaded.

Jacob: I can't believe the video worked.
Janine: Yeah. Those kids do not want to be us.
Jacob: You know, the fact that we are doing this well without clout propping us up is some good old-fashioned being-pretty-darn-good-at-our-jobs.
Janine: Yeah. You're right. But imagine what it'll be like when we actually do get them to think we're cool.
[Janine limps away with her leg in a cast. Jacob turns around in his yellow shorts]