- The Office 2005-2013
- Friends 1994-2004
- Seinfeld 1989-1998
- New Girl 2011-2018
- The Golden Girls 1985-1992
- Schitt's Creek 2015-2020
- Modern Family 2009-2020
- How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014
- Derry Girls 2018-
- Parks and Recreation 2009-2015
- Frasier 1993-2004
- Everybody Loves Raymond 1996-2005
- Gilmore Girls 2000-2007
- Cheers 1982-1993
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1990-1996
- Malcolm in the Middle 2000-2006
- Everybody Hates Chris 2005-2009
- The Good Place 2016-2020
- Home Improvement 1991-1999
- Scrubs 2001-2010
- Monk 2001-2009
- The Middle 2009-2018
- Arrested Development 2003-2006, 2013-2019
- 3rd Rock from the Sun 1996-2001
- The Goldbergs 2013-
- Boy Meets World 1993-2000
- That '70s Show 1998-2006 Just Added
- 27 shows
- 416 characters
- 4,388 episodes
- 150,417 quotes
Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Jerry: You know, we're supposed to be there by two o'clock. We should take a cab.
George: All right, we'll be a little late. I'm not taking a cab.
Jerry: I'll pay for it.
George: It's not the money.
Jerry: Well, what is it you object to? The comfort? The speed? The convenience?
David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.
Hal: Malcolm, where have you been? You got to get in on this.
Malcolm: Dad... I want skating lessons.
Hal: Son, do you know, once you start there's no going back?
Malcolm: I know.
Hal: This means total commitment. Once you begin the path, there is no leaving the path. Are you sure you're ready for that? I mean really ready?
Malcolm: I-I guess so.
Hal: Neat. We'll start tomorrow. Come on, dig in before they harden.
Dwight K. Schrute: Acceptable names include and are limited to: Ebenezer.
Dwight K. Schrute: Jonas.
Dwight K. Schrute: Warf.
Angela: No Star Trek names.
Dwight K. Schrute: Okay. Fine.
Angela: What if it's a girl?
Dwight K. Schrute: Irrelevant question. Section 5A, child shall be male.
Angela: Hey. Uh-uh. I cannot control that. You can't put that in here.
Dwight K. Schrute: Yes you can.
Dwight K. Schrute: It's as simple as keeping the womb extremely warm for two days after sex, and then extremely cold for five months.
Angela: Absolutely not.
[Schitt's Creek tourism video, on the street in front of Bob's Garage:]
Moira: Oh, hello, you. I'm film and television's Moira Rose. Won't you join me for a little stroll through the slice of paradise I like to call... the town where I currently am.
[in the cafe:]
Moira: Did someone say fine dining? The Café Tropical has certainly been described as "fine." Oh, hello, Twyla. I'll have the Miso Black Cod, please.
Twyla: We don't have that.
Moira: You mean, you're sold out, is more like it!
[in Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: And when it's time to escape the hustle and bustle of the downtown core, you'll find all the peace and solitude your body craves here at our local apothecary. No noisy customers or busy cash registers here, to intrude upon your inner cogitations.
Patrick: It's-it's not usually this quiet.
Moira: Oh, it's always nice and quiet here.
David: Can you stop saying that?
[outside the Rosebud Motel:]
Moira: And finally, when it's time to lay down your weary head, you'll find comfort and safety at the partially renovated Rosebud Motel. And don't forget to say hello to your handsome proprietor, Mr. Johnathon Rose.
Johnny: Thank you for having us.
Moira: John, no.
[outside Rose Apothecary:]
Moira: So why wait? Book your vacation now to this humble little oasis. If heaven had a creek, it would be this one.
[title: the end]
We have added over 5,000 quotes from That '70s Show, the FOX sitcom which ran from 1998 to 2006. The series follows a group of friends in their late teens during the final years of the 1970s. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Eric, Jackie, Kelso, Hyde, Donna, Fez, Kitty, Red and Bob.
We have added over 4,000 quotes from the 2000s sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. The series, about a boy genius from a dysfunctional family who is sent to his school's gifted program, aired from 2000 to 2006 on FOX. The show starred Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Justin Berfield and Erik Per Sullivan. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Malcolm, Lois, Hal, Francis, Reese and Dewey.
We have added over 4,000 quotes from the '90s sitcom 3rd Rock From the Sun. The series, about a group of aliens who land in Ohio and pose as an American family to study humans, starred John Lithgow, Kristen Johnston, French Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Curtin, Wayne Knight, Simbi Khali, and Elmarie Wendel. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Dick, Sally, Harry, Tommy, Mary, Nina, and Mrs. Dubcek.
We have added quotes from the cult favorite Arrested Development, which ran for three seasons on FOX from 2003 to 2006 before Netflix revived the show for another two seasons in 2013 and 2018/19. Catch up with the best quotes from the Bluth family: Michael, Lindsay, Gob, George Michael, Maeby, Buster, Tobias, George Sr. and Lucille.
We have added over 6,000 quotes from the 2000s comedy-drama series Gilmore Girls to the site. The show focuses on fast-talking, coffee-drinking mother and daughter Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, who have an especially close relationship since Lorelai had Rory when she was sixteen. Wanting the best for her daughter, Lorelai is even willing to reconnect with her estranged parents, Richard and Emily, so Rory can attend a local private school.
Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Gilmores: Lorelai, Rory, Richard and Emily; and the residents of Stars Hollow: Sookie, Lane, Michel, Luke and Kirk.