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Friends
1994-2004
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The Office
2005-2013
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Schitt's Creek
2015-2020
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The Golden Girls
1985-1992
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Modern Family
2009-2020
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Frasier
1993-2004
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Seinfeld
1989-1998
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Parks and Recreation
2009-2015
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How I Met Your Mother
2005-2014
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New Girl
2011-2018
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Scrubs
2001-2010
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The Goldbergs
2013-
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Boy Meets World
1993-2000
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The Big Bang Theory
2007-2019
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Brooklyn Nine-Nine
2013-
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Young Sheldon
2017-
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Monk
2001-2009
- 17 shows
- 246 characters
- 2,924 episodes
- 95,223 quotes
Popular Quotes
Quote from Sophia Petrillo in The Golden Girls episode The Engagement
Rose: I don't drink before bedtime. I stop all liquids at noon and I still wake up.
Sophia: I never have that problem. Never. I sleep like a log. I never get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom. I go in the morning. Every morning like clockwork, at 7 am I pee. Unfortunately, I don't wake up till 8.
Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One with the Jellyfish
Rachel: And hey, just so you know. It's not that common. It doesn't happen to every guy. And it is a big deal!
Chandler: I knew it!
Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Nepotism
Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.
Quote from Captain Holt in Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode The Mole
Captain Holt: Nothing's okay. Wuntch, circling me like a shark frenzied by chum. The task force turning into a career-threatening quagmire. An Internal Affairs investigation casting doubt upon my integrity. And you ask, is everything okay? I am buffeted by the winds of my foe's enmity and cast about by the towering waves of cruel fate. Yet I, a Captain, am no longer able to command my vessel, my precinct, from my customary helm, my office. And you ask, is everything okay? I've worked the better part of my years on earth overcoming every prejudice and fighting for the position I hold, and now I feel it being ripped from my grasp, and with it the very essence of what defines me as a man. And you ask, is everything okay?
Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Trending Quotes
Quote from Rachel Green in Friends episode The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding (Part 2)
Rachel: The nights are the hardest. But then the day comes and that's every bit as hard as the night. And then the night comes again...
Monica: The days and nights are hard, I get it. Look, Rachel, I'm sorry. I have to start getting ready. I'm getting married today.
Rachel: I know. At dusk. That's such a hard time for me.
Quote from David Rose in Schitt's Creek episode Honeymoon
Stevie: So, just to be clear, um, I'm a red wine drinker.
David: That's fine.
Stevie: Okay, cool. But, uh, I only drink red wine.
David: Okay.
Stevie: And up until last night I was under the impression that you too only drank red wine. But I guess I was wrong?
David: I see where you're going with this. Um, I do drink red wine. But I also drink white wine.
Stevie: Oh.
David: And I've been known to sample the occasional Rosé. And a couple summers back I tried a Merlot, that used to be a Chardonnay.
Stevie: Uh, okay.
David: Which got a bit complicated.
Stevie: Yeah, so, you're just really open to all wines.
David: I like the wine, and not the label. Does that make sense?
Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One with Rachel's New Dress
Chandler: Joey? Come on, think about it. First of all, he'll never be President. I mean, there's never going to be a President Joey.
Joey: All right, look, man, I didn't want to bring this up. But Chandler is the stupidest name I've ever heard in my life. It's not a name. It's barely even a word, okay? It's kind of like chandelier, but it's not. All right, it's a stupid, stupid, non-name.
Quote from Moira Rose in Schitt's Creek episode Milk Money
David: Well, I'm sorry, I felt very conflicted about the whole thing.
Moira: Of course you were. Now will you be a doll, and fetch Mummy a knife?
David: A knife?
Moira: Oh, I'm sorry, I think you'll find one lodged in the middle of my back.
David: Okay, well, that's a lot.
Moira: And when you pull it out of my back...
David: Okay, I'm gonna take a shower.
Moira: You can plunge it into my heart!
David: Okay, all right.
Moira: Plunge it into my heart!
Quote from Alexis Rose in Schitt's Creek episode Pregnancy Test
Alexis: I would like a refund, please.
Gary: Uh, the problem is, is we don't give refunds.
Alexis: Okay, then I guess I would just like my money back, then.
Gary: Again, we don't give refunds.
Alexis: Okay, okay. This is the first time that I've ever invested in anything myself, and I thought that was like, the responsible choice, but clearly, this is like, a joke school.
Gary: Well, that's why most students do their courses online.
Alexis: Oh. So like, potentially, I could refund my refund request, do all my courses online, and like, never have to ever come back here again?
Gary: That's actually how I keep my side hustle going, part time DJ. Here's my card, in case you have any problems, or you wanna go on a date, or something.
Alexis: Okay. Well, I won't be doing any of that, but thank you so much.
Quote Collections
Latest Updates
Monk Quotes

We have added over 4,300 quotes from the comedy-drama series Monk, which ran from 2002 to 2009 on USA Network and starred Tony Shalhoub, Traylor Howard, Bitty Schram, Jason Gray-Stanford, and Ted Levine. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adrian Monk, Natalie, Sharona, Lieutenant Disher, and Captain Stottlemeyer.
Check out quotes from MonkNew Girl Quotes

We have added over 5,500 quotes from New Girl, which ran from 2011 to 2018 on FOX. Catch up with your favorite quotes from everyone in the loft: Jess, Nick, Schmidt, Winston, Coach and Cece.
Check out quotes from New GirlModern Family: Season 11 Quotes

We have added quotes from the final season of Modern Family, which wrapped up earlier this year after eleven seasons on air. Check out quotes from Jay, Gloria, Manny, Joe, Phil, Claire, Haley, Alex, Luke, Mitchell, Cameron and Lily as we bid farewell to Modern Family.
Check out quotes from Season 11 of Modern FamilySeinfeld Quotes

We have added over 6,000 quotes from the hit sitcom Seinfeld, which ran from 1989 to 1998. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Jerry, George, Elaine and Kramer, as they deal with low-talkers, close-talkers, double-dippers, re-gifters, Soup Nazis, anti-Dentites, shrinkage, and yada yada yada.
Find your favorite quotes from SeinfeldBrooklyn Nine-Nine: Season 7 Quotes

We have added quotes from the latest season of Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Catch up with your favorite lines from Jake, Amy, Charles, Rosa, Sergeant Jeffords, Captain Holt, Hitchcock and Scully in the show's seventh season.
Check out quotes from Season 7 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine