Dick: Next, we measure the decay with difference delta gamma for the mass eigenstates, assuming CP invariance. The CP eigenstates and the mass eigenstates are... what? Leon?
Leon: Dr. Solomon, are you allowed to dispense ibuprofen?
Dick: Wrong. Pitman?
Pitman: Aspirin?
Dick: Bug? Here!
Bug: Chimps!
Dick: CP eigenstates implies that they are the same.
Caryn: Dr. Solomon, there is no possible way we could have known that.
Dick: Oh, really? And yet, my son knew that. Didn't you, Tommy?
Tommy: Well, I thought I knew that until you started explaining it. I can see them not getting it.
Dick: Oh, yeah. I know. As usual, I'm handing out sandwiches in the cemetery. Class is dismissed.

Dick: Tommy! Tommy! If I were a bad teacher, don't you think there would be some slight evidence suggesting that?
Tommy: Your students have been in the same class for years?
Dick: Well, so? You've been in high school for years.
Tommy: Yeah, but each year I advanced to the next grade.
Dick: That was high school. This is Pendelton.
Tommy: Pendelton serves fish sticks. My high school served fish... sticks.
Dick: I told you about the fish sticks in confidence.

Dick: That's it! I think you'd be a bad influence on my students. You are forbidden to go to Pendelton! How does that feel? Does it burn?
Tommy: Actually, that's fine. I'm starting to think you and me going to the same school would be a bad idea.
Dick: Oh, yeah? Well, guess what. This just in: you're going to Pendelton!
Tommy: What? No, I'm not!
Dick: You are! It's an order! Does it burn?
Tommy: What is your problem? So you're a bad teacher. So bad, I thought you knew!
Dick: One more word out of you, and you're getting your master's at Pendelton.
Tommy: But that is-
Dick: Care to go for your PhD?
Tommy: Dick, you're-
Dick: Oh, look who's on the tenure track, Dr. Tommy Solomon.

Tommy: Hey, Dr. Albright, do you have a minute?
Mary: Oh, sure, Tommy. Here at Pendelton, our doors are always open to prospective students.
Tommy: Thanks. Uh, it's about Dick. I'm really worried. He's being incredibly selfish and bull-headed.
Mary: And...?
Tommy: Well, I- I need your help. We had this fight, and now he's forcing me to go to Pendelton.
Mary: Oh, no. [closes door] Oh, Tommy, I felt so dirty trying to get you to go to this two-bit clown college.
Tommy: And rightly so.

Sally: Boy, he sure is working hard. But, you know, just for a second today at the office, I thought he was ignoring me.
Harry: Oh, no. He was just blowin' ya off.
Sally: Well, work comes first for now. I guess I have to get used to it. I am the woman behind the man.
Harry: That's right. Second-Fiddle Sally.
Sally: Harry, I'll never be second.
Harry: I don't know. You saw him today. He's a young turk now.
Sally: So what? He's still my man.
Harry: Well, I guess that's true till he goes and gets himself one of them trophy wives.
Sally: What?
Harry: Well, it happens all the time. Gotta get your arm charm.
Sally: Oh, my God. I don't believe this. I polished that lump of coal into a diamond, and now she gets to wear the ring? That whore!
Harry: Wait, wait! Well, what can you do?
Sally: What can I do? What can I do? I made him. I can break him!
Harry: Yeah... good. Then I get my shot at that whore.

Don: What's going on here? Sally, did you come all the way down here just to play "hide the salami"?
Sally: How dare you? [slaps Don]
Don: I'm sorry. I've--I've been under a lot of pressure. There are only three of those in the world, and I've already lost two of 'em. Harry, did you hide my salami? [Harry slaps Don]

Dick: I owe you an apology. I'm sorry I made you even consider Crapleton.
Tommy: You really mean it?
Dick: Absolutely.
Tommy: Oh, that's a relief.
Dick: You deserve to spend these years at a college, not a place where the freshman dorms had to be built by Habitat for Humanity.

Sally: Oh, my God. You guys, it's Number Six, Gus DeMarmel, president and CEO of DeMarmel Lunch Meat.
Don: Ooh, that's good meat.
Harry: Gus DeMarmel! Whoo-hoo! How are Peg and the kids?
Gus DeMarmel: My wife's name is Janet.
Harry: Little Peg Junior know about that?

Dick: So, slugger, how much did you love my class?
Tommy: Your class... Well, honestly, Dick, it was... It was kinda hard to keep from laughing.
Dick: [laughing] Yeah, I know! They are so stupid.
Tommy: They're not the sharpest pencils in the box.
Dick: They're not sharp at all.
Tommy: And you, you're incomprehensible!
Dick: Not a word understood!
Tommy: I mean, I figured you were a bad teacher, but not Hindenburg bad. [exits]
Dick: [laughing] Hindenburg bad! [laughing] What?!

[Harry walks into Don's office:]
Don: [into headset] Hello?
Harry: Hello.
Don: Mr. DeMarmel's office.
Harry: Well, it certainly is.
Don: Well, how are you?
Harry: Actually, I'm feelin' a little dizzy.
Don: I'm sorry, we're breaking up.
Harry: Well, that's news to me.
Don: You'll have to speak up.
Harry: [shouting] I said, that's news to me!
Don: Okay. Bye.
Harry: But I just got here!