Best ‘3rd Rock from the Sun’ Quotes Page 1 of 25    

Quote from Dick in Brains and Eggs

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.

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Quote from Dick in Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Quote from Dick in Dick's First Birthday

Dick: I'm done. How do I look?
[Dick removes the hair cap to revealed his freshly-dyed jet black hair]
Sally: Um, Dick, um... Okay, if somebody were helping you with an experiment and things went awry and you became horribly disfigured, you wouldn't hold it against them, now would you?
Dick: Why? What happened?
Sally: Nothing. Destroy all the mirrors now!
Dick: No, no! I've got to see! [holds up a hand mirror] Oh, my God! I'm gorgeous!

Quote from Dick in The Thing That Wouldn't Die: Part One

Dick: Where am I? And what's going on?
Mary: You lied so much, you passed out.
Dick: Mary, it's true. I'm the High Commander of an exploratory mission that came to Earth six years ago to study mankind.
Mary: Does your family know about this?
Dick: We're not a family. We're a unit. Tommy is the information officer. Sally is the security officer. And Harry has an enormous transmitter in his head.
Mary: Oh, that's impossible! Except for the Harry part.
Dick: Open your mind. Think about everything you don't know about me. And then think about everything you do know. Think about how every single time something happens, it's like I'm learning it for the first time... like a child. Mary, think about our entire six year relationship knowing that I'm an alien.
Mary: [smiles] [looks horrified] [looks angry] [looks sad] [smiles] You are an alien.
Dick: Yes.
Mary: Why didn't I see this before?
Dick: Because you're only human.

Quote from Harry in InDickscretion

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Quote from Harry in The Big Giant Head Returns Again Part 2

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.

Quote from Sally in Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole

Sally: Plus, we don't need him. I have a plan.
Don: You do?
Sally: Yeah, I'm gonna flood the hole with 3,000 gallons of water, and then Dick and Harry'll just float to the top.
Don: What if they don't float?
Sally: Well... then they're witches.

Quote from Nina in Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole

Mary: Oh, Nina, I feel so bad, Dick being trapped in that hole. It's another example of when bad things happen to good people.
Nina: It's not a great example.

Quote from Sally in Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.

Quote from Dick in Dick, Who's Coming to Dinner?

Dick: Amen! If I could have your sweet attention, here at the piano. [playing]
Nina: Dr. Solomon, what are you doing here?
Dick: There's something that needs to be said here, Nina. [gospel flourish] Sometimes a man, he thinks he knows everything. But that man, he knows nothing. He's so lost. Never looks at life from any angle but his own. But then one day, he sees the light. He reads the books. Learns Black culture like a pro. Difference between Malcolm X and Mr. T? You just ask him. But I pity the fool. This fool, he thinks he knows everything. But still, still, he knows nothing. You know why?
Woman: [vocalizes] Why?
Dick: He picked the White body.
Choir: [sing] Fool chose the White body
Dick: He didn't know he had a whole rainbow to pick from. Nobody told him.
Choir: Nobody told him
Dick: But I, Dick Solomon, I need you to tell me, tell me that I can be a good man. Tell me I can be good in spite of my color.
Choir: Dick Solomon, you can be good Dick Solomon, you can be good

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