‘Stuck with Dick’
Season 3, Episode 19 - Aired March 18, 1998
After Dick surprises Mary with a candlelight supper in the library, the pair get trapped in the building over night. Meanwhile, Sally, Harry and Tommy break into Mary's place and end up hosting her tupperware party.
Quote from Tommy
Sally: Wow. Albright's got such cool stuff. I wonder how come she never invites me over. [figurine snaps]
Tommy: Because you're a freakin' moose, that's why.
Harry: Hey, you guys gotta try this electric ear swab!
Quote from Don
Sally: Okay, they're back. Pretend we just got here.
[After the door is knocked open, Don falls into the room]
Don: Ass right there, freezehole!
Sally: Don, what are you doing here?
Don: Albright's silent alarm went off.
Harry: Well, I didn't hear anything.
Don: We thought there might be a break-in.
Tommy: Well, no one's broken in since we broke in.
Don: You broke in?
Sally: What, do you think Albright gave us the key? [all chuckle]
Don: B-but breaking and entering, that's a crime.
All: Wow.
Don: You shouldn't be here! I should arrest you!
Sally: Oh, come on, Don. Can't you look the other way just this once?
Don: No, I'm afraid I can't, Sally. I- [giggles] Well, just this once. But you can't stay here!
Quote from Sally
Sally: Okay, you guys, you heard him. We gotta get outta here.
Harry: Whoa! Check out pay per view!
Tommy: Oh, what's on?
Harry: I don't know.
Sally: Sounds good.
Quote from Sally
Suzie: Hi. You must be Mary Albright.
Sally: Uh... yeah. Sure. Otherwise, I'd be this person who broke in and was hanging around, even though the police told me to leave, so...
Suzie: I'm Suzy Martin from Tupperware? So, Mary, today's your big party, huh?
Sally: My party?
Suzie: Yeah. I have all your display items out in the car. [to Harry] Well, say, you're a big fella. Want to give me a hand? And hey, Mary, remember, it's your party, and you can coast, or you can host. Let's go.
Harry: This is odd.
Sally: Tommy, do you know what this means?
Tommy: No, Mary. What?
Sally: I'm hosting my first party.
Quote from Dick
Mary: Wake up!
Dick: Oh, huh?
Mary: Dick did we...
Dick: Did we what?
Mary: You know.
Dick: I-I'm not sure.
Mary: I think we did!
Dick: You do?
Mary: I'm not sure.
Dick: Maybe we did! Hey, you know what this means?!
Mary: No!
Dick: We're back together! Just you and me, kid!
Mary: No.
Dick: We're an item!
Mary: [screams] No! Help! Somebody get me out of here!
Dick: Oh, we're back. We're back.
Quote from Dick
Mary: Let's just get out of here. Oh! Oh, mother of... pearl! [cries]
Dick: Don't lose hope, Mary. If you cry, I'll cry, and- and- and who'll stop me from crying?!
Mary: Oh, don't try to hug me! I'm not.
Dick: There's a big, dead spider in your hair. [Mary screams] No, I tell a lie. He's still alive.
Quote from Dick
Dick: What is this place, anyway?
Mary: I think it's the chancellor's ballroom.
Dick: No, I don't. I think it's some kind of a storage closet.
Quote from Mary
Mary: Oh, my God, this is my thesis. I spent two years of my life writing this, and they keep it in here?!
Dick: Well, then, this must be the archives!
Mary: It's in the bottom of a boxed marked "Sugar Puffs"! This was good, damn it! And they keep it in here? Oh, and look! In 15 years, it was checked out once! Once.
Dick: I'm so sorry, Mary. I don't know what to say. Champagne?
Quote from Tommy
Sally: Hey, look at all this loot.
Tommy: I know. I must say, I love my new chip sombrero.
Harry: Hold on there, compadre. I called dibs on the chip sombrero a half-hour ago, along with the hamburger hopper.
Sally: Hamburger hopper? Everyone knows that goes with the bun hutch, and you ain't gettin' that.
Tommy: Wait. The bun hutch is in the countertop collection. My countertop collection!
Harry: Well, now you're talkin' crazy.
Quote from Dick
Nina: Wild weekend, huh?
Mary: We were in the library.
Nina: Mmm. Is that so?
Mary: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is.
Dick: We were locked in the whole time.
Nina: Look, I don't need to know. What you do on the weekend is your business.
Mary: Which was spend it locked in the library.
Nina: Uh-huh, and is that why you smell like cheap champagne?
Dick: It may have been cheap, but there was lots of it.