Tommy: Dude, I've got, like, 40 bucks here. How much do you have?
Harry: We're supposed to be counting?
Dick: Hey, where did all that money come from?
Harry: People gave it to us.
Dick: For what?
Tommy: Absolutely nothing.
Harry: You were great at it.
Tommy: You were better, my man.

Sally: Dick, you do not have to come with me to the gynecologist's office.
Dick: I've been with you for all your womanly milestones. I was with you when you got your first bikini wax.
Sally: No, you weren't.
Dick: Yes, I was. You just couldn't see me.

Rico: What are you guys doing out here?
Tommy: Making a nice living.
Harry: Yeah, so move along. You're scaring away all the philanthropists.
Rico: All right. You just earned yourselves a citation.
Tommy: For excellence in change gathering?
Harry: [emotional] It's all happening so fast.

Dick: Hi, guys. How's business?
Harry: Great! We're being honored by Rico.
Rico: They're getting a citation.
Dick: Congratulations, boys!
Rico: The ticket's $75.
Dick: What? Oh, well... okay. And I suppose you're going to want 15% as your own personal cut, huh?
Rico: Excuse me?
Dick: Don't worry. I know how these things work. This should take care of it.
Rico: All right, that's it. Get in the squad car. We're going downtown.
Dick: Ah, now that's service. See you down there, boys.