Sally: All right, Don. Choose. Muffin? Or gun? Who are you, Don? Are you a cop, or are you a muffineer?
Don: I'm a cop! [picks up gun] I'm a cop who wants a muffin. [points gun at Sally]
Sally: And the student becomes the master. [gives Don the muffin]

Sally: [looks down at her chest] Well... good-bye, girls. Veronique.
Harry: Cindy.
Sally: Cindy.

Don: You're right, Sally. I'm- I'm sorry. I should've rented something else.
Sally: Yeah, you could've, but you didn't, did you? Did you?!
Don: Well, why don't we just turn it off?
Sally: Oh, thanks, Donnie. I love you. [Don leans into kiss Sally] What are you doing? Playing "kiss the cow"?
Don: What do you mean?
Sally: Oh, please, look at me. I'm so fat and disgusting, my boobs are sore... I don't even know how you can look at me. Kiss me again.
Don: Uh, S- Sally you're all over the map. What's going on?
Sally: Oh, nothing. Nothing at all. Pfft! Ha ha I'm gonna go to the fridge and get myself a brownie, and when I come back... [sadly] I want you to take it away from me.
Don: Oh, boy. I think I ate the last brownie.
Sally: [screams] No!

Sally: Oh, thanks, Nina. You sure know a lot for a woman who never has a boyfriend.
Nina: I have a boyfriend.
Sally: Then why are you sitting home alone on New Year's eve?
Nina: I'm not. I'm going to a party.
Sally: Sure, you are, Nina.

Ned Everly: Mama, they don't have a sofa.
Harry: Well, anyway, she knows everything about organizing a party.
Tommy: Oh, yeah. Tell him about that soup mix with the sour cream.
Charlotte Everly: Oh, now, it's on the back of the packet.
Tommy: They put your recipe on the back of the packet?
Harry: She's been published!
Dick: I can't believe you're all putting my number-one fan to work.
Charlotte Everly: Oh, pish tosh. I have a confession. Before I came here, I was social director for Carnival cruise lines, and... if only I had a list so I'd know how many people were coming.
Sally: We have such a list. A guest list. Harry, go get it. It's in the other room!