TV Quotes

Mary: Oh, Nina, I feel so bad, Dick being trapped in that hole. It's another example of when bad things happen to good people.
Nina: It's not a great example.

Don: All right, let's take another question.
Woman: Over here. How much is this rescue costing?
Don: Uh, that information could compromise the rescue effort. Next.
Man: Yeah, is it true that most cavern formations in this area are sedimentary rock?
Don: That information will be released on a need-to-know basis. Uh, follow-up?
Man: Yeah, you don't know anything, do you?
Don: At this time, I cannot confirm or deny what exactly it is that I don't know. No more questions. Thank you.

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.

Dick: Oh, no where are my boobs?
Sally: I've got them!
Both: You're me!
Tommy: Dick?
Sally: What?
Harry & Tommy: Aah!
Dick: Oh, great.
Harry: What happened?
Tommy: The Big Giant Head just switched their bodies.
Dick: Wow.
Sally: Oh, my god! I'm gorgeous!