[on Mary's film:]
Mrs. Dubcek: The Solomons are lovely people. Very nice. They're clean. They never complain, and, as for the noise, well, I think they've gotten used to it.
Mary: [v.o.] How do you think they function without a traditional mother figure?
Mrs. Dubcek: You said you were going to let me tap dance. When do I get to tap dance?

Mary: Remember that article I wrote last year, "Where's mommy?", dissecting the post-nuclear American family?
Dick: Oh, yes. About that tyrannical blowhard and his ridiculous relatives.
Mary: Uh-huh. Honey... that was about you.
Dick: You mean I'm Dirk Sullivan?
Mary: Yes. I've been observing your family for the past 4 years.
Dick: You've what?!
Mary: And the Fleischman foundation has given me a grant to make a documentary on the typical American family. Your family.
Dick: Finally, the recognition I deserve! We'll be glorified as the ideal American family.
Mary: Not ideal so much as typical.

Sally: [on film] Um, me and Don... Oh, that's my boyfriend. Don. That's my boyfriend. Um, we've been through a lot together. Uh... I lost my virginity. That was big. Um, then I moved out on my own. And then I moved back in. So basically, I'm a non-virgin who's moved twice. That's not bad.