TV Quotes

Dick: How can you possibly say Harrison Ford is sexier than I am? I mean, just because he's got those incredible cheekbones and that perfectly chiseled jaw and those penetrating brown eyes that you... you could almost lose yourself in if you stare at them long enough... Whoa!
Mary: But I love you. See you, Dick.
Dick: [holds hand mirror in one hand and magazine in the other] Oh, my God! I'm hideous!

Dick: Nina, I just want you to know that after my surgery, I'm going to be devastatingly handsome. It's going to be very difficult for you to keep your hands off of me.
Nina: Oh, really?
Dick: But no matter how gorgeous I look, it'll still be me underneath, and, uh, I'm still not attracted to you.
Nina: And I just want you to know that if you never came out of anesthesia, that that would be okay with me.
Dick: Thank you. That is so sweet.

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.