TV Quotes

Dick: It's amazing. After all these years, we've actually played a part in bringing a new life onto this planet.
Sally: This kid is gonna have so much that we never had. He'll actually grow up here. He won't make all the mistakes we made.
Dick: We didn't make a lot of mistakes.
Tommy: What are you talking about? Do you remember the time that we thought the phone was a fire alarm and any time someone called, we'd run outside in our underpants?
Harry: Or what about the time we tried to bust open the television set because we wanted to meet the Jeffersons?
Sally: Yeah, yeah, yeah! But Dick stopped us 'cause he didn't want the Flintstones to escape!
Dick: Yeah. Our modern world would have terrified them.
Sally: Yeah, but I mean, they already had cars. They were very evolved.

Sally: You disobeyed orders, mister.
Dick: I couldn't do it.
Sally: Fine. I'll kill him myself.
Dick: You can't kill him. You're the High Commander.
Sally: So?
Dick: High commanders are forbidden to kill. They're considered upper management.
Sally: Fine. I hereby make myself security officer.
Dick: So you're security officer and High Commander?
Sally: Okay. You're High Commander. I'm gonna go kill that guy.
Dick: Got it. Oh, and by the way, my first order as High Commander is that you shall not kill that reporter.
Sally: No! Then I make myself High Commander again-
Dick: Uh, uh, uh. Can't do that, Lieutenant.
Sally: Oh, you had this planned all along!
Dick: That's why I'm High Commander. And, no, I didn't!

Sally: Plus, we don't need him. I have a plan.
Don: You do?
Sally: Yeah, I'm gonna flood the hole with 3,000 gallons of water, and then Dick and Harry'll just float to the top.
Don: What if they don't float?
Sally: Well... then they're witches.

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.