TV Quotes

Tommy: Has anybody else noticed that our place is looking a little, uh, messy?
Dick: Ya think?
Tommy: Well, it's just 'cause I don't have any clean clothes, you know, and we don't have any clean dishes, and there's no clean... anything.
All: Ew!
Dick: We're living like common hobos here. How did this happen?
Harry: You know, I think that this started a couple of weeks ago. I had a fork, and I put it in the sink, and then I just thought, "Ah, I'll wash it later."
Dick: No, Harry, don't blame yourself. It's not your fault. It's Sally's fault. Ever since she moved into Dubcek's garage, this whole place has gone to pot.
Tommy: Oh, I miss her.
Harry: I miss clean underpants.
Tommy: That's what I meant.

Tommy: I don't get this. Why do I have to pick an extracurricular activity? I mean, curricular? Fine. I'll give 'em that. But extra? You know, that's my time.
Alissa: You can join the debate team.
Tommy: They're a bunch of argumentative hammerheads.
Alissa: How about the drama club?
Tommy: Artsy-fartsy losers.
Alissa: I'm in the drama club!
Tommy: Well, you didn't let me finish. See, had you, you would've heard me say that artsy-fartsy losers are not allowed in the drama club. That's what I was gonna say. You didn't let me finish.
Alissa: Well, we're doing My Fair Lady. You could sing in front of the whole school.
Tommy: Oh, really? 'Cause I'd be more comfortable, like, not doing that.

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.