Dick Quote #1088

Quote from Dick in Y2dicK

[Dick is rolling the computer mouse across his head]
Sally: Dick, what are you doing?
Dick: I-I'm just, uh, working on my computer.
Tommy: It's not even on.
Dick: Yes, it is.
Sally: No, it's not.
Dick: Yeah, I-it's just, uh, warming up.
Tommy: You don't know how to use a computer!
Dick: Shut up!
Sally: Oh, he has no idea!
Dick: I am a superior being. I came to Earth on a spaceship that could fit in my pants. What am I supposed to do with technology so backwards it can't even read your thought waves?

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 ‘Y2dicK’ Quotes

Quote from Dick

Dick: Sally, I've made such a mistake. I thought all this technology would help me wrap my arms around humankind. But I was wrong. All it gave me was a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.
Tommy: So what about being connected to the world wide web?
Dick: I wasn't connected to anything. I was separated. And that's not what we came to this planet for. That's what technology does. Technology is evil!
Tommy: Dick, just because you went nuts, that doesn't mean that all technology is evil.
Dick: Of course it does.
Sally: What about, uh... medical technology?
Dick: Medical technology is okay.
Tommy: Okay, uh, what about the computers that make sure airplanes don't crash?
Dick: Those I like. But that's it.
Harry: Well, what about the machine that puts the creamy filling in the cupcakes?
Dick: Harry, no! I've already drawn the line. Oh... who am I kidding? I'm not gonna manually inject cream into my own cupcakes.

Quote from Dick

Dick: Oh, my God, it's so little. I could just sit down and rest it right here on my, uh... Uh, thigh shelf.
Salesman: Uh, now, all you do to clear the screen-
Dick: Uh, that much I know. I have something similar to this at home. [shakes laptop]

Quote from Dick

[Dick's students watch a live stream of Dick on the "Planet Solomon" website:]
Dick: And so you see, that by utilizing a viscous barrier, we minimize bonding between any two substances. Now, you understand friction, and I have a nice omelet. Any questions?
Bug: Um... why are you on a computer?
Dick: My actual presence is no longer necessary in the learning process. This is my new live webcam at www.PlanetSolomon.com. It's on me 24 hours a day. Now, anybody can log on. You can watch me do almost everything. And, uh, for a small fee... everything.