TV Quotes

Dick: Sally, I've made such a mistake. I thought all this technology would help me wrap my arms around humankind. But I was wrong. All it gave me was a raging case of carpal tunnel syndrome.
Tommy: So what about being connected to the world wide web?
Dick: I wasn't connected to anything. I was separated. And that's not what we came to this planet for. That's what technology does. Technology is evil!
Tommy: Dick, just because you went nuts, that doesn't mean that all technology is evil.
Dick: Of course it does.
Sally: What about, uh... medical technology?
Dick: Medical technology is okay.
Tommy: Okay, uh, what about the computers that make sure airplanes don't crash?
Dick: Those I like. But that's it.
Harry: Well, what about the machine that puts the creamy filling in the cupcakes?
Dick: Harry, no! I've already drawn the line. Oh... who am I kidding? I'm not gonna manually inject cream into my own cupcakes.

Dick: Oh, my God, it's so little. I could just sit down and rest it right here on my, uh... Uh, thigh shelf.
Salesman: Uh, now, all you do to clear the screen-
Dick: Uh, that much I know. I have something similar to this at home. [shakes laptop]

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.