TV Quotes

Nina: Quality time? You actually said "quality time"?
Mary: Well, I was just trying to define-
Nina: Is that what we talked about? Is that what we talked about?!
Mary: No.
Nina: When a man hears "quality time," he thinks it means rub your feet while you watch the Lifetime channel.
Mary: [whining] Well, what am I supposed to do?
Nina: [mocking] What am I supposed to do? You have really lost it. You have lost your groove thing. Come on! Blow smoke up his ego, make him want you.
Mary: I don't know.
Nina: You are Mary Albright. You flirt shamelessly. That's what you're famous for.
Mary: I am?
Nina: Mm-hmm.
Mary: I am.
Nina: Now, you go out there and live up to your trashy reputation.

Jennifer Ravelli: What were you doing to me, orchids?! I gave you a list of my allergies, and what was on the top of page 6, column 2? Orchids!
Dick: Okay, Jennifer, before you go any further, there's something I must say: I am breaking up with you.
Jennifer Ravelli: You're breaking up with me? You're breaking up with me?! I ended this hideous travesty of a relationship yesterday!
Mary: Yesterday? She- She broke up with you yesterday?
Dick: Oh, that's right. You broke up with me. That's how it happened. [makes a "crazy" gesture] Teetering.
Mary: You're incredible!
Jennifer Ravelli: You are so lucky that I'm allergic to any blood other than my own, because if I weren't, I would cut you open from stem to stern and dance in the red, red river of your death.
Dick: Help me, Mary, help me.
Mary: Oh, get out!
Jennifer Ravelli: A plague! A plague on you, Dick Solomon!

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.