TV Quotes

Dick: Oh, I can see it now, all restored, the majestic image of Admiral Pendelton riding his wife into battle.
Mary: That's his horse.
Dick: Ah. That does make more sense.

Dick: You're the reason they're all being so nice! They're kissing up to me because I'm the Dean's boyfriend, aren't you?!
Strudwick: Oh, pshaw!
Dick: Well, I'm more than that! I have my own identity! I'm Dick Solomon, damn it! And I demand to be condemned for my failures! And this, this wasn't just a failure. This was a towering fiasco! So if any of you respects me as a person, you will stand up, come forward, and ridicule me for the idiot that I am! Do it, damn it! Call me an idiot!
Mary: I think you better call him an idiot.
Strudwick: You're an idiot!
Judith: A colossal idiot!
Dick: Thank you, Judith. Vincent, thank you. And you, Mary, you most of all.
Nina: If you don't, I will.
Mary: Okay, Dick. You're a big, fat, bumbling, oblivious, Pepe-wearing, mega-idiot!
Dick: Oh, thank you, Mary. I love you, too.

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.