Harry: Well, let's have a toast, shall we? To [voice quavers] new... Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. Your request has been approved. Your Lieutenant and High Commander will be restored to their previous Earth bodies immediately, and a small fee will appear on your next statement. Transmission ending in 3, 2, 1... [Harry, Dick and Sally sneeze]
Sally: Dick?
Dick: Sally?
Both: We're back!
Dick: Isn't that great, Tommy?
Sally: Oh, isn't that cool, Tommy?
Tommy: [squints] Tommy? I'm not Tommy.
Dick: Oh, my god!
Tommy: Ah, I'm just screwin' with you.

Tommy: Oh, man. The High Commander and the Lieutenant are incapacitated. You know what that means? The Information Officer takes over, and that's me. I'm in charge of the mission.
Harry: Permission to speak, High Commander.
Tommy: Permission granted.
Harry: Well, we might as well just take this mission, roll it up and stick it... [voice quavers] Incoming message from the Big Giant Head. "Your request to return home for emergency maintenance has been authorized."
Tommy: Yes!
Harry: "The time-space portal will open tomorrow evening between 8:51 and 8:53 P.M. Earth time. On your journey home, we will be showing Tin Cup, starring Kevin Costner and Rene Russo."
Tommy: Well, that settles it. We're going.
Harry: "The Big Giant Head looks forward to reading your comprehensive report on the history of human civilization."
Tommy: Oh, no.

Tommy: How's Dick?
Sally: Oh, not so good. I thought he could use some fresh air, so I sent him down to the old town road to pick up strawberries. [Dick returns] Wow. You're back quick.
Dick: [as Henry Fonda] You want to know why I came back so fast? I got to the end of our driveway, and I couldn't remember which way to go. I went into our backyard, and nothing looked familiar to me. Not one damn tree. Scared me half to death.
Sally: Snap out of it, ya old poop!

Mary: Why do we put up with 'em? Well, I know why you do, Don. I mean, how often does a super model fall into your lap? You won the lottery. No offense.
Don: No. None taken. [chuckles] But you've got to admit, you've got lucky, too.
Mary: Excuse me?
Don: Come on, admit it. You're a lonely schoolmarm in a one-horse town, when along comes a crazy cowpoke sniffin' around your petticoat.
Mary: Did Dick tell you about our Gunsmoke game?
Don: No.
Mary: We don't have one.

Tommy: Why don't we just grab him?
Sally: Good idea, bonehead! Then we create even more of a scene.
Tommy: I'm sorry!
Harry: [to crowd] We visited your tiny little planet thousands of years ago and built the towering pyramids!
Tommy: What?! We didn't build the pyramids. We killed the dinosaurs.
Sally: We killed the dinosaurs?
Tommy: Didn't we?
Sally: Oh, whatever.