Mary: What are these?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Escargot foie gras champignon à la grecque en croute. Do try one.
Mary: Oh, this is the best thing I have ever put in my mouth!
Dick: Once again, I come in second.

Dr. Liam Neesam: Dick, you are quite a remarkable human creature.
Dick: Oh! [chuckles] Well, I agree with the remarkable part. After all, I figured out who you are, but you, my friend, have missed something glaringly obvious about me. Care to guess?
Dr. Liam Neesam: No. You see, I came to this planet for only one purpose: to destroy it.
Dick: What?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Oh, yes. Big explosion, chunks of debris, things flying every which way, then a second explosion, uh, not quite as huge as the first one, but still very big and sparkly, something- something to see. Only, of course, you wouldn't because you'd have been vaporized in the first one.
Dick: But why the earth?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Because you're blocking our view!
Dick: I won't let you!
Dr. Liam Neesam: No, no. Let me explain. When I first came to this planet, I looked around for signs of intelligence, but nothing much, certainly nothing to justify not blowing it up, then... then, Dick, I met you.
Dick: Ah, yes, me. Well, there's a reason why you were so impressed. You see, I'm not from Ohio.
Dr. Liam Neesam: You see, Dick, you proved to me that human beings can be bright in a sort of look-what- my-two-year-old-can-do sort of way.
Dick: That's because-
Dr. Liam Neesam: Tat is, if for two minutes they can get their minds off large-breasted lifeguards, coffee cake that doesn't make you fat, and Celine Dion. God, somebody tell her to stop. The boat sank. Let it go.

[As Dick gets ready to swing his golf club, Dr. Neesam blows an air horn. When Dick turns around, Dr. Neesam hides the horn behind his back.]
Dr. Liam Neesam: What?
Dick: What was that?
Dr. Liam Neesam: What?
Dick: That noise.
Dr. Liam Neesam: What noise? I don't recall a noise. Maybe a bird a small rodent. Perhaps you have a brain tumor.
[As Dick lines up his shot, Dr. Neesam puts the small air horn away and removes a larger one from his bag. He sounds it just as Dick gets ready to swing.]
Dick: What was that?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Oh, this? Um, it's an experiment. I wanted to see how you'd react. I am a biologist, you know.
Dick: Are you going to do it again?
Dr. Liam Neesam: Probably not.
[Dick has a dejected look on his face as he once again gets ready for his shot. Dick gasps as he swings his golf club back in the air and waits, only to swing the club down and chunk a piece of ground as he feebly hits the ball]
Dr. Liam Neesam: Bad luck. Better luck on the next hole. [air horn sounds]