Dick: You know, I really feel like I accomplished something. It's not easy to change a man.
Sally: Hmm. Or a dog. You know, I found it's virtually impossible to teach a dog, especially an old one, anything new. You know, like a trick.

Dick: So, if he can't pay his fine, he just-
Don: Well, he'll just sit there for a few days and think about what he's done.
Dick: Hmm. And that'll teach him that jail is a dirty, horrible place, and he'll never want to return?
Don: Exactly. In fact, this is the fifth time he's learned that very lesson.
Dick: The fifth time? Why does he keep coming back?
Don: Ah, it's just the way they are.
Dick: Then what's the point of this place? It's just a revolving door, a hopeless hotel whose residents check in and out between crimes. And you, Don, you're nothing more than a bellhop with a badge.
Don: I am not.
Inmate: Hey, can I get a clean towel and a Wall Street Journal?
Don: Will you shut up in there?!

Harry: "'It's so dreadful to be poor', sighed Meg, 'looking down at her old dress. I don't think it's fair for some girls to have plenty of pretty things and other girls nothing at all, added little Amy with an injured sniff.'" [sniff]
Tommy: Harry, do you have to be doing that right now?
Harry: Yeah. I got a 500-word book report due for night school. "It's so dreadful to be poor, sighed"
Tommy: All right, enough. Listen, the key to studying is finding the short cuts, all right? Look, later we'll go out, we'll buy you some Cliff Notes. It's like an easy little synopsis, all right? It'll take you ten minutes.
Harry: Ooh, what a relief. I don't mind readin'. It's readin' books that I hate.