Dick Quote #653

Quote from Dick in Eleven Angry Men and One Dick

Bailiff: All right, everybody, listen up. We're about to start the jury selection process. The first case on the docket is a petty theft.
Dick: Mmm... no. I'm looking for something a little more meaty. International software piracy, perhaps, or maybe a triple homicide.
Bailiff: Okay. Just let the judge know when you find something that tickles you.
Dick: Oh, will do. [puts money in the bailiff's pocket] Oh, and, hey thanks.

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 ‘Eleven Angry Men and One Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Dick

Tommy: Justice is so much simpler where we come from.
Dick: Oh, yeah, you simply hook the suspect to the old truth belt, and if his tube stays purple, he's innocent.
Tommy: If it turns blue, he's guilty.
Dick: Nice and clean.
Harry: Oh, except for those times when it doesn't change all the way, and then you get into those endless arguments about, "Ooh, I think it's magenta."
Tommy: "No, that looks lavender."
Dick: Well, I guess our system isn't perfect either.
Sally: All systems are corrupt.
Dick: [sighs] That's right, sunshine.

Quote from Dick

Lawyer #1: Do you believe everything you read in the newspaper?
Dick: Yes! No! I don't know! I don't know what to believe anymore. You tell me what to believe and I'll do it.
Lawyer #1: He's good with me.
Lawyer #2: Me, too.
Judge: Okay, Mr. Solomon, you're seated on the case, the State vs. Chris Foster.
Dick: I'm in? I'm in? I made the cut! I'm on a jury!
Judge: Fine. Fine. Report here tomorrow at 8 a.m.
Dick: 8 a.m. in the morning?!

Quote from Dick

Dick: Well, if he stole this money, what did he do with it?
Irving: He supported a mistress and her child. We heard that testimony.
Dick: Listen to you. In an age when a man can't even support his family, this man supported two! Send him to jail? Let's send him to congress!