TV Quotes

Sally: So that's how it's gonna be, huh? Well, as long as we're being honest with each other, I don't like how you leave the toilet seat down.
Nina: That's the way women use it.
Sally: [scoffs] Yeah, sure, Nina. That's the way women use it.

George Albright: Dick, I want to thank you for bringing everything out in the open. I feel like a tremendous weight's been lifted from this family. I want to tell you two something. There's nothing more exhilarating than honesty.
Dick: Oh! Oh, so honesty's your game, is it? Yeah, I'll give you honesty. Your precious little Mary Margaret ragamuffin magpie has been lying to you! She didn't even want to come here because she didn't want to tell you that... our engagement is off! We're through! But that's okay, because I don't want to marry her anyway. I don't want to marry anyone. Not after meeting you. If this marriage was a horse, you'd shoot it! [Mary sobs]
George Albright: Dick, we forgive you.
Dick: Forgive me?
Martha Albright: Would you like some cocoa?
Dick: I don't want any cocoa. I don't want anything. I just want to climb into a spaceship and fly to a far-off galaxy, millions of light-years away from this twisted and sadistic human freak show! [exits]
George & Martha: He's the one.

Mary: Oh, Nina, I feel so bad, Dick being trapped in that hole. It's another example of when bad things happen to good people.
Nina: It's not a great example.

Nina: See ya.
Dick: Oh, uh, Nina now that you're going to Mary's new office and leaving me, I want to wish you luck and tell you I've never been happy with your work.
Nina: And now that I'm leaving, I want you to know... you can kiss my Black behind.