Judith: Dr. Solomon, do you have anything to say in your defense?
Dick: I have plenty to say.
Professor Suter: I should have brought a book.
Dick: I stand here accused of insensitivity. Oh, sure, I've tried to change my ways. I've cried. I've hugged. I've been hugged. And you know what I've discovered? I'm an offensive person. But in a tolerant society, is there no place for my kind? Why must everyone like me? Why can't we all just not get along? Conflict is necessary. Throughout history, human beings have persecuted the great agitators. Socrates, Galileo, and now Dick Solomon. Where would you be without us to provoke and enlighten you? To attach the electrodes of knowledge to the nipples of ignorance? Throughout history, all over the world, people have rightfully looked to Pendelton State for virtually nothing. But maybe one day they'll be able to say that an unpopular battle was won there for an ugly little thing called the truth.
Judith: Thank you.
Dick: And when they make a movie of this - and they will - I don't want to be played by Woody Harrelson.

Judith: We will now deliberate and return with a guilty verdict.

Dick: Family meeting! Family meeting!
Sally & Tommy: What?
Dick: I've just heard the most upsetting thing. Someone has accused me of insensitivity. [shouts at Vicki] You're not family! Get out! [normal voice] What is it with this planet's preoccupation with sensitivity? You should be able to have an open dialogue with anyone, like we do. We can say anything to each other and not take offense. For example, Tommy wouldn't object if I mentioned that he was a greasy little disappointment.
Tommy: What's to argue? I mean, Sally couldn't dispute that she's a sadistic bimbo.
Sally: You got me. And, Dick, you're a rubber-faced bag of wind.
Dick: Well said! And Harry, you're an idiot.
Harry: Thank you, sir. May I have another?