TV Quotes

Dick: Now, Sally, they already adore me. But you must strive to be accepted by these people.
Sally: Accepted? Have you forgotten how hot I am? I mean, good looking women are accepted at more places than American Express. I could belch the alphabet and men with PhDs would be asking me to tutor their kids.

Nina: So, how was your party? Did you play "pin the tail on the Bentley"?
Dick: [sighs] No, no. Mostly we just played "pin the cheese on the cracker."
Nina: Mmm exciting party, huh?
Dick: Exciting? It was awful. I had a two-hour conversation with someone about Cornish gay men.
Nina: Are you sure it wasn't "Cornish game hen?"
Dick: That's what I said, "Cornish gay men." Aren't you listening?

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.