Dick Quote #496

Quote from Dick in Dickmalion

Tommy: Great news. I am now the coolest punk in school.
Dick: Well, congratulations! What did you do?
Tommy: I got suspended for setting off the fire alarm.
Dick: They suspended you for that?! You saved hundreds of lives!
Tommy: No, no, no. That's the best part. There was no fire.
Dick: Tommy, this is outrageous! The next time you set off a fire alarm, you damn well better start a fire first!
Tommy: I can never do anything right for you, now can I?

Rate

 ‘Dickmalion’ Quotes

Quote from Sally

Dick: Now, Sally, they already adore me. But you must strive to be accepted by these people.
Sally: Accepted? Have you forgotten how hot I am? I mean, good looking women are accepted at more places than American Express. I could belch the alphabet and men with PhDs would be asking me to tutor their kids.

Quote from Dick

Nina: So, how was your party? Did you play "pin the tail on the Bentley"?
Dick: [sighs] No, no. Mostly we just played "pin the cheese on the cracker."
Nina: Mmm exciting party, huh?
Dick: Exciting? It was awful. I had a two-hour conversation with someone about Cornish gay men.
Nina: Are you sure it wasn't "Cornish game hen?"
Dick: That's what I said, "Cornish gay men." Aren't you listening?

 Dick Solomon Quotes

Quote from Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Quote from Brains and Eggs

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.