Dick: I can't believe the arbitrary way that humans decide which animals to revere and which to eat. It's nothing more than a barbaric popularity contest. Take the koala bear: cute and cuddly. Have you ever heard of a koala burger? A koala dog? Koala falafel? No! The noble cow, whose only sins are her pendulous teets and redundant stomachs, is doomed to be sawed into freezer-friendly chunks and sold by the pound to the bloodthirsty masses.

Tommy: I don't understand her.
Sally: What's to understand? Kill her and get a new one.
Harry: No, no, no, no, no, you can't do that, see? You gotta get a new one and then you kill her. It's like the book says, "Be prepared."
Sally: The Official Boy Scout Guide Book. Who are the Boy Scouts?
Harry: They're an elite pre-pubescent, paramilitary society. And I'm gonna follow their ways.
Sally: But, Harry, you're neither elite, nor pre-pubescent.
Harry: All in good time, Sally. All in good time.

Tommy: Nina, I need a woman's point of view for something. Um, my girlfriend's not speaking to me because I didn't ask her to a dance.
Nina: Mmm, send her flowers.
Tommy: She once told me that flowers reminded her of the morbid stench of death.
Nina: Okay. Well, how about a gift? Maybe a nice makeup kit.
Tommy: Uh, she sees makeup as a way for the arrogant misogynists to decorate the women they own and turn them into you know, like vacuous playthings.
Nina: Oh, I bet you two have a lot of fun.
Tommy: Wait, that's all you've got?
Nina: What do I look like, "Dear Sandy"?
Tommy: Who's "Dear Sandy"?
Nina: The advice lady from the paper. You know, like, "Dear Sandy, I'm a whiny little teenager with girlfriend problems and the only person I can bug about it is my dad's stunning Nubian secretary."
Tommy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, could you write that down for me?
Nina: Sure, you mean the stunning Nubian part?