TV Quotes

Dick: I don't want normal! I want ceaseless joy and never-ending passion like Romeo and Juliet!
Mary: They both wound up dead.
Dick: Antony and Cleopatra.
Mary: Dead.
Dick: That couple from Wuthering Heights.
Mary: Insane and dead.
Dick: F. Scott Fitzgerald and Zelda.
Mary: Drunk, insane and dead.
Dick: Tristan und Isolde.
Mary: Abgeschossen.
Dick: Ah-ha! Siegfried and Roy!
Mary: Okay, one.

Harry: No, Sally, no. I mean, I have a difficult job too. When- And- I think that you should shut up.
Sally: What is your job exactly?
Harry: I am the sponge. I know many things.
Sally: Like what, oh, great sponge?
Harry: Okay. Like how many bags of trash do our neighbors produce per week. What are Barney's friends names? His real friends. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a marble! You don't know, do you?
Tommy: Well, he's got you there.

Sally: Plus, we don't need him. I have a plan.
Don: You do?
Sally: Yeah, I'm gonna flood the hole with 3,000 gallons of water, and then Dick and Harry'll just float to the top.
Don: What if they don't float?
Sally: Well... then they're witches.

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.