Mary Quote #56

Quote from Mary in Guilty as Dick

Mary: Oh, Nina I can't tell you how good it is to be among people who brush their own teeth.
Nina: You're not brushing his teeth?
Mary: Do I have any messages?
Nina: 1:00, Dr. Solomon calls, wants to know where you are.
Mary: Oh, God.
Nina: 1:05, Dr. Solomon called again. His foot feels hot. Doesn't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. 1:12, Dr. Solomon called. He's hungry. Can you come make him a personal pan pizza? 1:17, Dr. Solomon called. Wants to know if you've forgotten that you were the one that hurt his foot. [phone rings]
Mary: [answers phone; mimics old lady] Hello? No, you have the wrong number. Oh, your foot hurts? Have you tried hitting it with a hammer?


 ‘Guilty as Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Tommy: You don't need guilt to get anyone to serve you. We proved that when we were selling candy. All you need to do is remind people they like sex.
Harry: Oh. Wouldn't it be scary if sex and guilt were connected? [all laugh]
Sally: Sex and guilt connected!
Dick: Harry, you're an idiot!
Harry: I know, I know!

Quote from Sally

Dick: Look at my foot. It's one big boo-boo.
Harry: Dick, you sound pretty pathetic.
Dick: Is it pathetic to sprain your foot worse than anybody ever in the history of the world?! Sally?!
Sally: Sorry, Dick. But you know nothing about earth pain until you've been a woman, okay? One week every month, I feel like I got a pair of pliers in my pants. You got a boo-boo? I'm in the National Guard of pain.

 Mary Albright Quotes

Quote from A Dick Replacement

Mary: Listen, you. That psychic didn't know anything. You have many, many years ahead of you, and I will be right by your side. And after that, I don't want anybody else.
Dick: Mary, you'd rather be alone?
Mary: After you, I'm done.
Dick: Of course you are. How could I expect you to ever settle for anyone else after being with someone like me? I've ruined you.
Mary: More than you'll ever know.

Quote from Youth is Wasted on the Dick

Mary: Sterling Lake is really special to me, Dick. I spent so many happy summers there with my family when I was young.
Dick: Wait a second. You had a youth, too?
Mary: Yes, Dick.
Dick: Well, what was it like, or can you still remember?
Mary: It was wonderful. We lived in log cabins we built ourselves. Oh! And when Mr. Lincoln came to town, we were all a-flutter. What do you think it was like, Dick?