Dick Quote #410

Quote from Dick in Proud Dick

Dick: Welcome to Rusty's. How may I serve you?
Man: How do you make your burgers?
Dick: Excellent question. First a clamp comes down onto the cow's head, forcing it onto a conveyor belt, where a prod is inserted into the cow's rectum, electrocuting it.
Man: Give me two.
Dick: Thank you. And remember, at Rusty's, E. coli is not on the menu.


 ‘Proud Dick’ Quotes

Quote from Sally

Sally: All right, gentlemen, prepare yourself for a fancy feast.
Dick: Fancy feast? Can we afford that?
Sally: Yes, we can. Because while I was shopping today, I found this aisle in the back that had these unbelievable savings. Tuna, liver, and even seafood blend for you finicky types.
Tommy: Wait a minute. You're feeding us cat?
Sally: It's not cat, Tommy, it's salmon. There's just a picture of a cat on the label. The best part is, next to the food they had these adorable little gifts. Look.
Dick: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I've never been happier in my life!
Sally: I was playing with it today, and it got stuck behind the refrigerator, and I went nuts trying to get it!

Quote from Dick

Dick: Hmm. I made the front page of the Daily Badgerian again.
Sally: What's it say? "Physics professor calls Einstein 'idiot', proclaims self much smarter."

 Dick Solomon Quotes

Quote from Fear and Loathing in Rutherford

Strudwick: You know, it's funny. I used to bring these creamers home to Alissa. She'd have little tea parties with her stuffed animals. They grow up quick, don't they?
Dick: Yeah. I can remember when Tommy didn't even know how to wipe his own butt. Then he figured it out all on his own. And taught me.

Quote from Brains and Eggs

Mary: For future reference, I have a red Volvo.
Dick: [gasps] Please, Dr. Albright! We barely know each other.