Dick Quote #380
Quote from Dick in Dick Jokes
Comedian: So I said to her, "Hey, mom, your birthday was last month. Hoist it up yourself."
Dick: I don't get it. What are they laughing at?
Comedian: Anyway, I'm not saying my mom is overweight, but she's got that flabby skin under her arm. You know what I'm talking about. Well, the other day this wind picks up, this stuff starts jigglin'... out dropped a tricycle I lost when I was seven.
Dick: Excuse me. Perhaps you can help me out. Those things you said about your mother, I don't understand why they're considered funny.
Comedian: Well, um-- -
Dick: Is it because the toned arms that once cradled you securely now have large deposits of cellulite hanging from them? Is aging funny?
Comedian: If you think about it-
Dick: And you! Is it all the alcohol you're consuming that makes it okay to laugh at the expense of your loved ones?
Man: He's right! I love my fat mama! And you're a bad man!
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Dick Jokes’ Quotes
Quote from Harry
Tommy: What happened to your coat?
Harry: I don't know what happened to it, so Ms. Dubcek let me borrow this one. Sweet woman.
Tommy: So you lost your coat? Oh, tough break.
Harry: I lost more than a coat, Tommy! I lost a friend, a buddy, a companion who kept me warm when it was cold and warmer when it was really sort of too hot to be wearing a coat.
Quote from Sally
Dick: Imagine how different war would be if instead of trying to kill each other, people just showed up armed with jokes.
Sally: But you could still have guns, right? Because, you know, eventually you'd stop laughing and want to get on with the killing.
Quote from Sally
Dick: Lieutenant, I need your help. I need you to find out what's funny.
Sally: Oh, I can't. [knocks Harry down with a plank of wood] I've got to build this, I ran out of room for my shoes.
Dick: Well, this is more important. It's about me!
Sally: Well, how am I supposed to know what's funny? [knocks Harry down again]
Tommy: What's so important about a sense of humor anyway?
Dick: Oh, come on, Tommy. Having a sense of humor is having the power to transform someone's mood, to lift his spirit. You give it to someone you love when she really needs it. And I just found out today that Mary's been getting it from another man.
Tommy: Dick, I think this whole " being funny" thing is just innate.
Dick: What do you think, Lieutenant?
Sally: What do I think? [Harry ducks as Sally swings the plank] I think either you got it or you don't. [Sally knocks down Tommy]
Dick: Oh! Look what you just did! [Sally knocks down Harry and then Tommy again]
Sally: What's wrong with you guys?
Dick: Come on! Wake up, you two! [sprays them with water] Come on! How am I ever gonna find out what's funny?