Dick: I mean football. I thought they canceled that in January.
Harry: Well, guess they brought it back.
Dick: I still don't see the point. I mean, what's it all about?
Sally: Well, from what I understand, they try to kill whoever has the ball.
Dick: Those two guys in the middle seem awfully intimate.
Sally: Yeah, they've been going at it the whole game.
Harry: Yeah, they should just get a room.
Dick: Is there any upside?
Sally: Well, if you make it all the way down to the big poles, you get to dance.
Dick: Dance?
Sally: And if you're really good, you win a trip to some fruit bowl, but only the best dancers make it.

Sally: Listen, um, we're friends, aren't we?
Nina: Yeah, sure.
Sally: Good, 'cause I've decided we're best friends. You got a problem with that?
Nina: Uh, no.
Sally: Thanks, Nina. I finally have a girlfriend. You're my first one.
Nina: Oh, Sally, I am?
Sally: Why? Is that weird?
Nina: Oh, no. No, it's tough making friends with women.
Sally: You're telling me. I can barely stand myself. So, uh, what do you want to do now, girlfriend? You want to go shopping or talk about cramps?
Nina: Shopping.

Dick: I just don't see why you care so much about a team that has no chance of winning. [all groan] Why are you so passionate about a lost cause? Ohio Western's record is 6-1. They're going to win. Why don't you root for them?
Bug: But we go to Pendelton. We're the badgers. The badgers are us. We're us, not them. They're them. We're us with the... Don't you get it?
Dick: No! Why didn't you just go to Western?
Leon: Because we choked on our SATs.