Nina: You know, my heritage happens to be very important to me.
Mary: As it should be. I'm Irish, and I'm very proud of that. And you're what?
Dick: Me? Uh, [stammers] I-I-I'm, uh one of those, uh... You know, one of the really good ones. You're this big anthropologist. You tell me. What am I?
Mary: Certifiable.
Dick: Yes, that's what I am. Certifiable. Certifiable and damn proud of it. As my father was before me and his father before him and his father before him. Certifiable. Of course, we no longer practice.

Dick: Mrs. Dubcek, as long as you're up here, what ethnic group do you come from?
Mrs. Dubcek: Well, I'm a little Czech, a little Romanian. I'm your basic Slavic mutt, like my third husband.
Dick: Oh. What were your first two?
Mrs. Dubcek: Well, the first was Irish, and the second was one of your people.
Dick: Our people?
Mrs. Dubcek: Yeah. Well, you know, Jewish.
Dick, Harry & Tommy: Jewish! [they confer] Oh!
Dick: So what tipped you off?
Mrs. Dubcek: Well, with your name it's pretty obvious.
Dick: Our name?
Mrs. Dubcek: Solomon.
Dick: Oh, you wonderful, wonderful woman! Thank you so much!

Dick: Now, let's have a look at Einstein's boundary conditions according to the theory of relativity. Einstein, a Jew, never could have made this breakthrough, had it not been for the earlier work of Copernicus, Polish, or Tycho Brahe, the unlucky Dane from Prague. Which brings up another question. How many Puerto Ricans do we have in class? Any Puerto Ricans? Leon, what are you?
Caryn: You don't have to answer that.
Leon: Dutch.
Dick: Oh, I love your tulips and your dikes.
Leon: Oh, thank you.
Dick: However, I turn your people down because of the silly shoes. Okay, no Puerto Ricans? Any Latinos in general? Anyone with Latino information? Anybody?
Pitman: Dr. Solomon, with all due respect, I find this offensive.
Dick: Oh, Pitman, you won't be left out. I'll get to the Asians.