Dick: Oh, I can see it now, all restored, the majestic image of Admiral Pendelton riding his wife into battle.
Mary: That's his horse.
Dick: Ah. That does make more sense.

Dick: Nina, how did we do?
Nina: Let's see. Subtracting for the caterer, the DJ, and Betty walking off with the wedding gown... we made $104.
Dick: You mean 104 million dollars?
Nina: No. 104 dollars dollars.
Dick: What, that's all? After all that?!
Strudwick: It's a great start, Dick.
Judith: You should be proud.
Dick: Of what?! $104?! That won't buy Admiral Pendelton an arm! That won't even pay to pressure-wash the bird crap off his wife!

Dick: You're the reason they're all being so nice! They're kissing up to me because I'm the Dean's boyfriend, aren't you?!
Strudwick: Oh, pshaw!
Dick: Well, I'm more than that! I have my own identity! I'm Dick Solomon, damn it! And I demand to be condemned for my failures! And this, this wasn't just a failure. This was a towering fiasco! So if any of you respects me as a person, you will stand up, come forward, and ridicule me for the idiot that I am! Do it, damn it! Call me an idiot!
Mary: I think you better call him an idiot.
Strudwick: You're an idiot!
Judith: A colossal idiot!
Dick: Thank you, Judith. Vincent, thank you. And you, Mary, you most of all.
Nina: If you don't, I will.
Mary: Okay, Dick. You're a big, fat, bumbling, oblivious, Pepe-wearing, mega-idiot!
Dick: Oh, thank you, Mary. I love you, too.