Sally Quote #28

Quote from Sally in Dick, Smoker

Sally: Oh, I'm ready to take responsibility. Believe me, I can handle responsibility. No problem. Tommy, I'm hereby placing you under house arrest.
Ms. Koppel: Well, I just thought counseling-
Sally: Your rations will be cut in half. You will report to calisthenics at 0500, sharp.
Tommy: Could I be placed in a foster home or something?
Sally: I'm his mother. I'll handle him.
Ms. Koppel: I thought you were his sister.
Sally: Sister, mother, whatever.
Tommy: I think you're actually my aunt.
Harry: In our family, it's kind of hard to tell.


 ‘Dick, Smoker’ Quotes

Quote from Harry

Harry: Well, what are we supposed to do? Dick is always here.
Sally: Wait a minute. Of course. This is a test.
Tommy: What?
Harry: For the next 60 seconds, she's going to emit a high-pitched tone.

Quote from Dick

Nina: What do you think you're doing?
Dick: Smoking.
Nina: Please don't smoke in front of me. I just quit a year ago.
Dick: Oh, you poor, misguided girl. Don't you miss it? The first cool drag in the morning, a relaxing smoke on the roof on a warm summer night. And if I ever have sex, I think I'm going to smoke afterwards.
Nina: Have you ever read the warning on the side of the pack?
Dick: Well, I'm not a fetus.
Nina: Those things will take 10 years off your life.
Dick: Yes, but that's off the end of your life, and those years are crappy anyway.
Nina: Well, there happens to be a policy here. Cigarettes are only allowed in university-sanctioned smoking zones. Take it outside.
Dick: All right, if you're going to be a big fetus about it.

 Sally Solomon Quotes

Quote from Dick and Harry Fall Down a Hole

Sally: Plus, we don't need him. I have a plan.
Don: You do?
Sally: Yeah, I'm gonna flood the hole with 3,000 gallons of water, and then Dick and Harry'll just float to the top.
Don: What if they don't float?
Sally: Well... then they're witches.

Quote from Gwen, Larry, Dick and Mary

Sally: All right. What have we got, Tommy?
Tommy: The lady says she stepped out of the laundromat to get a coffee. When she returned, her slipcovers had been removed from the dryer and placed on the folding table. She also claims they were still wet.
Sally: Is this a fact, sir?
Mrs. Dubcek: He moved my stuff.
Sally: I am not talking to you.
Mrs. Dubcek: I'm saying, I went-
Sally: Zip it! Tommy... [clears throat] Why don't you tell our friend here the rules.
Tommy: The rules are: you are not to remove someone else's moist items from the dryer.
Sally: Now, was it moist?
Man: It was damp.
Sally: Don't pee on my shoes and tell me the washer's leaking.