Dick: Vicki, you remember my true love, Dr. Mary Albright?
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, yes.
Mary: Nice to see you again, Vicki.
Vicki Dubcek: Oh, yes, ma'am, it's nice to see you, too. Doctor. [chuckles] You know, I have this little pain in my lower back-
Mary: Oh, Vicki, I'm not that kind of doctor. I'm a doctor of anthropology.
Vicki Dubcek: What is that? Is that, like, the rear?

Tommy: Where did you find those?
Dick: In your sock drawer.
Sally: How could you? After all we've done for you.
Tommy: Okay. It's not what you think.
Dick: It's exactly what I think. It's oregano and fresh rosemary.
Sally: I can't believe it. You can cook!
Harry: You punk!
Tommy: No! No, I can't cook. I swear!
Dick: Then how do you explain this?
Tommy: This, uh... it's marijuana.
Dick: This whole time we've been eating her slop, and you're a damn gourmet!
Tommy: No! No, it's pot. I swear. I- I smoke it with my friends. I- I love to toke up on the fat daddies... dude.

Sally: Oh, I blame myself. How could I have missed all the signs? I mean, just last month I was doing laundry, and I found a measuring spoon in his pants.
Dick: I was as blind as you, Sally. At the mall he said he was going to the comic book store, but I saw him come out of the Williams-Sonoma.
Sally: Oh!
Harry: Oh, Tommy. It's confectioners' sugar! Confectioners' sugar?!
Dick: So you've been baking, too!
Sally: Oh, God.
Dick: Look what your selfishness has done to Sally. Get out of my sight! Oh, but first, make me a spinach and fennel frittata.