TV Quotes

Sally: Dick, I'm buying groceries. I need the car.
Dick: Well, you can have your fun later.
Sally: I'm so sick of this. You have to get me my own car.
Tommy: Yeah, Dick. Most families do have two cars.
Dick: Most families have a couch. Most families have a mother. Most families are related. If that's what you want, go move in with most families.
Harry: Well, not that I'm thinking about it, but where exactly do most families live?

Sally: Wait, wait, wait. Dick. So you just met her, and then...
Tommy: Did you, uh... Did you use...
Dick: Oh, yeah, yeah. A three-pack. Ribbed for her pleasure. But I turned them inside out.
Sally: Oh, God, you are so selfish.

Harry: Well, I'm going with ya. Because I, too, have a wanderlust inspired by a different book.
Tommy: You do?
Harry: Indeed. And one day far from here, you and I will point our fingers at that bespectacled man with the sock hat and proudly say, "There's Waldo!"
Tommy: Harry, Waldo's a fictional character.
Harry: Ah, then it will be that much sweeter... when we find him.

Dick: Oh, I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Who am I?!
Harry: Well, let me see. Your first name's Dick. Your new last name is Head, so I guess that would make...
Dick: Oh, my God.